Sean & Shey: Somewhere Out There

37 Weeks

2012-01-21T17:54:00.000+01:00

37 weeks! I took Gia to the doctor earlier this week because she'd been really fussy at night and had a fever over the weekend for several days. Dr. C couldn't find anything wrong, so it was probably just something viral. She's doing much better now. Thanks to that little visit, I know Gia is growing well, too!! Yay! She is now 15 pounds, 1 ounce and 27 1/4 inches long! She also went up almost two percentiles... now in the 9th percent. Sleep has been so difficult this week. She's been waking up a lot and after almost 9 months of this, I am just almost at my wit's end. My doctor emailed me some reading material on sleep training, but I just really don't like it... it involves letting her cry and adhering to a strict, consistent schedule. We are gone late 3 or 4 nights each week because of church things and I just don't know what to do about that. But, it is getting ridiculous, so I think I may just have to forgo some of our evening activities for a while. It just makes for a really long day for me, and I really hate the thought of not being at youth group. We'll see. I'm going to visit my sister next week. so when we get home, we will try this sleep training and see how it goes. :(

Oops! Almost forgot an outtake!

Gia's Birth Announcement!

2012-01-19T21:29:00.002+01:00

So.... my daughter is 8 months old. And I am just now posting her birth announcement. Yeah, I'm a bit behind. So, maybe its not an "announcement" so much as it is just a cute picture. :) I had a great time designing this, but never sent it out right after she was born. So that's why I sent it out with my Christmas cards to family this year, and am just now sharing it with you!! Hopefully with the next one, I will be a little bit more on the ball. It has a white outline around it, but against the white background it looks a little weird. As I'm typing this, I feel like I've already posted this, but can't find it if I did... so sorry if its a repeat!! Here are some more of the pictures from the "photoshoot" I did for this:

On Going THERE

2012-01-17T08:23:00.002+01:00

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I am a worrier. And sometimes, ok, more often than not, worrying can get the best of me. Especially when it comes to Gianna. Part of it is just my worry-wart nature, but another part, a very real part of it has to do with losing Whitney.

All parents hate it when their child gets sick. No matter what the illness, the age of your baby or other circumstance, its no fun to see your baby ill- whether your baby is 6 months old or 16 years old. But when Gia gets sick, my mind automatically goes to a place I have otherwise so desperately trained it not to go... That place where I begin to imagine what it would be like to lose her, too.

A few months ago, Gia got really sick, really fast. She just started throwing up and wouldn’t stop. After talking to the doctor on-call, we took her to the ER. Now, the rational part of me knows that babies get ill sometimes, and more than likely, she just needed to be re-hydrated and all would be fine. After some x-rays, blood-work and observation, Gia was, indeed, just fine. We were sent back home with a very tired baby who slept the rest of the night. However, as we were driving out of the ER parking lot, Sean voiced what I had been thinking all along... What if we hadn’t left the hospital with our baby? What if she wasn’t coming home with us? We’d already left the hospital without one baby before; who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again? The reality of our lack of invincibility has long since set in. We are not immune to life’s cruelty of untimely loss and pain.

I don’t think its normal for my mind to go to There when Gia gets sick. Most normal parents do not jump from flu to funeral in an eye’s blink. But I do. When we lived in California, we had a giant Weeping Willow tree in our back yard. I loved it... It brought tremendous shade to the side of our house and I loved how its long billowy branches reached forever up to the sky then bent back down to nearly kiss the grass beneath it. Sean had a different take on it, though... He hated the thing. He hated how it was all spindle-y and twisty and messy. The leaves and twigs were broken off and scattered around our entire yard. And that’s what its like when this seed of worry gets stuck in my head-- in no time, it has become a big, ugly weeping willow that has entwined its sinewy branches into every thought that crosses my mind.

Yesterday, I lost an earring. Just a rhinestone stud, but I didn’t realize it until much later in the day. I found the back to the earring on the kitchen floor, and immediately, I began to panic about where the earring itself was. I think I lost it when I took my hoodie sweatshirt off earlier in the day... And I remember I was standing... In the living room... Right in the middle... Of... Gia’s play area. And then I remember... A few hours ago, Gia looked like she was putting something in her mouth. She’s always doing that these days. Working on developing that pincer grip. This girl could put a lobster to shame-- she always finds the teeny tiniest things to pick up and put in her mouth. Much of the time, she hasn’t even picked anything up... Just practicing the imaginary motion of pinch-to-mouth. Anyways, so I see her doing this and immediately pick her up to see if there’s anything in her mouth. She fights me as I pry open her jaws... I do the “scoop” with my finger in her mouth, but I don’t see or feel anything. She wasn’t choking or wheezing or gagging or anything like that. So I forget about the whole incident. UNTIL... I realized I had lost my earring.

Later that night her fever started and she got increasingly fussy. She has a stuffy nose and is teething, so the rational part of me knows that her discomfort is most likely due to that, rather than a possibly swallowed earring. But I can’t help but wonder...

I took Gia to the doctor today, and everything seemed fine. Ears clear? Check. Throat? Check. Lungs? Check. Hmmmm. We got to talking about Gia’s sleeping and eating and I forgot to mention the earring I lost, which Gia possibly ate. So here we are, a day and a half later, and I am obsessing about it. Gia’s woken up a couple of times tonight in obvious pain. Again, most likely from teething and the fact that she sounds like a hungry pig when she breathes. But I still find myself Googling “how long does it take for swallowed object to pass”. And even though I read on the website of my favorite baby doctor that most small objects are easily passed in 3-5 days (he’s even seen an open safety pin pass through a baby without problems!) and not cause for major concern, I’m still freaked out. I get back on my hands and knees and check the carpet for the 5th time (this hour). I take the couch cushions off (again). I turn the hoodie I was wearing inside then out, inside then out. Still no earring. Still worrying. What if it rips a hole in her entire body, and I forever have to live with that? My mind goes There again, and by this time is almost completely lost There.

But in a brief moment, something from Here entices me back, stills my mind. I remember some verses I had compiled in an email for a friend when we were both pregnant with our Rainbow babies. “Worry Verses” I had titled it. I search my GMail for “worry” and thankfully, the document I so desperately need pops up. And then, like an ice cold sweet tea in the middle of a Carolina summer, my eyes drink in these words as my spirit slowly soaks them up:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

I want to know more about the word “worry” or “anxious”... Being an Ozark alum, I’m a geek for a good word study. Aren’t we all? What, no? I’m the only one? Ok, well then hang with me for a few turns, because I promise its really cool. The word used for worries (or in the NIV, ‘be anxious about’) comes from the Greek word merimnao (Strong’s 3309). Essentially, the word means a part, as opposed to a whole. It means to be drawn in opposite directions, pulled apart, scattered. Doesn’t that make sense? When I worry about something, my mind usually goes in a million different directions. All the worst-case scenarios are zipping through my imagination at light-speed. I feel frazzled in my worry, scattered in my anxiety. Ok, put that in your back pocket for a minute.

Next, I looked up the word “supplication”, or petitions. It basically means a heart-felt request, arising out of a deep personal need. The original root of the word implies a felt need that is personal and urgent. Yes, yes that’s it! Oh, Lord! Hear my petition... I am lacking faith and allowing fear to take hold... Please, come quickly Father and quiet my racing mind!

 Finally, I read on to verse 7 in Philippians... “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” What is this peace of which the writer speaks? Back to the concordance... Peace. (Strong’s 1515) eirḗnē ... (doesn’t this word look a lot like ‘serenity’?)... from eirō, "to join, tie together into a whole") – properly, wholeness, i.e. when all essential parts are joined together; peace (God's gift of wholeness). Oh, yes. That is peace. Wholeness. God’s gift of wholeness. When worry has scattered my heart and mind into a million pieces, whisking me There at warp speed, God’s centrifuge of peace brings it all back together to one central place- his sheltering wings. His protective arms. His loving side. Whatever you call it, peace is with Him... when all essential parts (me + Him) are joined together. God’s gift of wholeness. So tonight, as I’ve just gotten up to calm a crying babe for the 4th time since I put her to bed a few hours ago, I forego worry, and instead let my petitions and praises turn my worry into prayers so that I can rest in God’s eirḗnē.

6 Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.7 Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. (The Message)

Mix Book!

2012-01-14T21:39:00.002+01:00

I finally finished my Egypt Scrapbook using the online program MixBook. I had a Groupon that was $15 for $50 worth of product, which is why I chose to use MixBook in the first place. Overall, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this program. I think I would choose it any day over another program like Shutterfly or one of those. MixBook has a TON of customization choices, which is why I really like it. I'm kind of old school when it comes to scrapbooking, in that I typically prefer the original kind, with actual photos and stickers and stuff. But for a project this big, going digital was definitely the best choice. MixBook is the closest thing to a "real" scrapbook that I've seen yet... you can choose all different kinds of 'papers' for backgrounds, add stickers and other cute embellishments. So here's how my book turned out:

Here's the front, its hardcover and glossy. So pretty!

Here's a shot with my Blackberry to give you an idea of the size... I designed this thing as an 8x8 but at the last minute, decided to order it in 12x12... I am so glad I did! The big size makes it all the more fun!
Here's a look at some of the inside pages. The pages are pretty & glossy, and the colors of stunning!

I think there are 40 or 50 pages in this book, but its still thin! Here you can see the spine and how thick it is.

I am totally sold on MixBook! And just in case you're wondering, this is not a paid or "perked" review... just giving you my honest opinion. I keep looking for more MixBook Groupons... so if you see one pop up in your city, PLEASE let me know!! I want to make a book of my pregnancy for Gia! So... what about you guys? Have you used digital scrapbooking?

Pinspiration: Valentine Wreath!

2012-01-14T17:37:00.001+01:00

I made this wreath a few days ago, inspired by- what else?- Pinterest! It was super easy, but it just took a little time. Actually, the only part that took a chunk of time was wrapping the wreath with grey yarn. That took more than an hour! But cutting the felt, and doing the criss-cross argyle pattern only took another hour or less! I love it for Valentine's Day, but made sure to use the colors of Gia's bedroom so that it can go on her door the rest of the year!

36 Weeks

2012-01-14T04:16:00.003+01:00

Whoa, 36 weeks! You'd never guess by this spring-like picture that our high here today was actually 16 degrees, and there was snow falling all day long! Not a whole lot has happened this week with Miss G, development-wise. She is still pulling up on everything, crawling all over the place, and getting steadier on her feet every day. She is drooling buckets again, but still no new teeth poking through. We had one night of 8 hours sleep this past week, but that was all. Hoping for a couple more nights like that this next week... though I'm not holding my breath! Gia has gotten a lot better this week at letting other people hold her, though. Its like all of a sudden, she's decided that these people are ok! It still depends greatly on her mood and time of day, but for the most part, she is getting more comfortable with letting our friends hold her. On Sunday, I even left her sitting between our two friends, Jess and Brian. I went to Subway and back, and even had time to eat before she started getting antsy for me! Woo hoo, baby! This week's fabric is actually the daybed cover I had in my room when I was younger!

Whitney's Blog Update

2012-01-14T03:09:00.001+01:00

I know its been a long time since I've updated Whitney's blog. There are several reasons for that... the easiest reason is that we haven't paid to renew it yet so we've been "locked out" of adding new posts. We started her blog in TypePad, which is great in that it allows us to do most of what we want to do (pages, photos, comments, etc) but the downside is that it costs $150/year. We're going to go ahead and renew it with TypePad this year, but in the mean time I am hoping to move all that content to a WordPress or Blogger format {i.e. FREE}. Anyone have tips on that? I really don't want to lose any of our posts, as I know people go back and read them. I also don't want to lose any of the comments. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

The other reason I haven't written is that I just haven't been in the mindframe to write about her lately. Everything feels cluttered and crazy, lately. Its good, and I am by no means complaining... I know that any of the "problems" I think I have are truly insignificant, westernworld, cupcake problems. I just haven't been able to sit and really think about what to write. I have thoughts that run through my head about Whitney all day long. But by the time I get 5 minutes to sit and write it out, I've forgotten. But I'd really like to get better at writing on Whit's blog.

Finally, we have less than a month until Whitney's 2nd birthday. That in itself is pure craziness. It seems like a lifetime ago, and just yesterday all at once. I am planning to do another RAOK (Random Act of Kindness) day to celebrate the gift of her life. I'll have more details on that soon (I hope!). So I hope you guys will plan on joining us in remembering Whitney on her birthday by doing a Random Act of Kindness on February 11th! In the meantime, you can check out all of last year's RAOK Day celebrations here.

And just because I love her so much and am thinking about her a lot right now... a precious picture.

Oh, What the Heck: 2011 Review

2012-01-13T03:17:00.005+01:00

Alright, so both my SIL's did this on their blogs... why not? I'll finish this then 2011 is DONEZO! For reals.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Gave birth, breastfed a baby almost 24/7, moved across the country... oh wait, I've done that before. Ok, moved across the country at 30 weeks pregnant on a red-eye flight with two cats in tow. Never done that before.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any last year. And I didn't make any formal resolutions this year, but I'm committed to living in the moment and worshiping God with every action.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Do I count? Yes! And a lot of my friends did, too. I really want to be in the room someday with someone who gives birth (other than myself). I think that would be so cool!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, Sean's grandfather passed away in december after battling pancreatic cancer.
5. What countries did you visit?
Sadly, none. womp womp. I was knocked up half the year, and kissing G's face the other half!
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A forgiving heart.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
may 5th – gianna was born
June 17th- When we visited our new church for the first time
July 9- Turning the big 3-0
8. What’s your biggest achievement of the year?
Having Gia! It was a long tough labor. I'll spare you the details, but it was quite an accomplishment.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I honestly don't feel like I had one. Sure, I've fallen short in areas, but I wouldn't say anything was a failure. I'm pretty damn proud of the way I handled myself this past year, given all that's happened.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not major.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Not sure....
12. Where did most of your money go?
Hands down to a jacked up moving coming that scammed us out of more than $10K. Jerks.

13. qhat did you get really excited about?
the g baby of course! moving! Fall! snow! Friends!
14. what song will always remind you of 2011?
Not sure... probably Gia's silly baby music

15. Compared to this time last year, are you?
-happier or sadder? much happier.
-thinner or fatter? definitely thinner... I was preggo!
-richer or poorer? definitely poorer, but better off
16. what do you wish you’d done more of?
Eating sushi in CA
17. what do you wish you’d done less of?
hating mean people who don't matter. and worrying. It always turns out ok.
18. how did you spend christmas?
with my family the best way to spend it.
19. what was your favorite TV program?
oh there are so many.. but probably Up All Night is one of them.
20. what were your favorite books of the year?
Hunger Games! And The Help
21. what was your favorite music from this year?
I've missed out on a lot of music this year. Not sure.
22. what were you favorite films of the year?
Didn't get to the movies much....
23. what did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I turned 30 and went to Joe's of course!
24. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not much. At least not much that was nice.... seeing some justice or karma or vengeance happen to the meanies in my life, but see, that's not nice.
25. how would you describe your personal fashion concepts of 2011?
Preggo and new mom.

26. what kept you sane?
my husband. we were together every day for 4 months and it was exactly what I needed.
27. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
It all turns out ok.

Kairos Captured: Wonder

2012-01-12T17:34:00.000+01:00

Oh, the wonder of a wooden spoon and overturned pot...

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

Kairos Captured

2012-01-12T17:13:00.002+01:00

There is an excellent blog post circling the interwebs lately. It's titled "Dont Carpe Diem." Have you read it yet? If not, go read it now, them jump back to finish this.
I love the way she writes about the difference between chronos time and kairos time. Kairos time is God's time... those moments in the day when I notice the beauty in Gianna's eyelashes, or the times when I walk into a room and see my husband making silly faces at our baby. Moments that are gifts from God, apart from the ordinary, worthy of all my thanks and praise to be raised to God for blessing me with them. They make the poopy diapers, spit-up, laundry and every other mundane chore worth it.
Instead of doing a 365 project, I mentioned that I wanted to find some other way to capture precious moments this next year. Well, I've decided to call it "Kairos Captured." I want to capture the Kairos moments of our day to day life. Again, maybe not very interesting to many, but priceless and precious to my heart.
I did a little word study on "kairos"... one researcher writes that kairos 'a time in between [sequential or chronological time], a moment of indeterminate time in which something special happens. What the special something is depends on who is using the word. While chronos is quantitative, kairos has a qualitative nature.' So, that's what these moments I hope to capture will be... something special happening, as defined by me. I hope you enjoy them! I"ll get the first one up later today hopefully. I am not going to set a certain day or amount of times I have to post these... I'll just do them as the moments arise. I'd love for you guys to join me in this project, too!

Feel free to use this button on your blog if you want to join in on the project, too!

8 Months

2012-01-06T03:55:00.004+01:00

Length: No idea...
Weight: I'm guessing somewhere around 16 pounds
Clothing Size: She is in mostly 6-9 month clothes now, especially her pants with the cloth diapers! Her 6-9 month sleepers are still pretty long on her, but the 3-6 are too tight!
Fave Toy: She loves this musical cell phone that my parents got her for Christmas. She'll be crawling across the room, and if I make it play noise, she'll come giggling and crawling over to it.
Fave Outfit:Her Christmas tutu that I made was adorable!
New Moves: She is standing more and more on her own. She still can't do it for long without holding on to anything, but her coordination is getting better by the day.
Teething: She has the two lower teeth already. I've been looking for the top ones to make her appearance, but nothing yet.
Eating: She's still loving her baby food that I've been making. Bananas are definitely her favorite. Just a few days ago, she started eating more solid things, like her puffs cereal and chunks of carrots! I need to research what else she can start eating at this age, because I think she's ready for it.
Sleeping: Still not sleeping great, though she gave us one night this week of 8 hours straight. She woke up at midnight, I fed her, then she didn't wake up again until 8! Her reflux has improved, so I'm not sure why she is still waking so much.
Talking: She still doesn't babble a whole lot... mostly when we're in the car or when I'm changing her diaper. I think she is too busy playing the other times to talk. She loves to blow raspberries all the time, though!
Fave Pic: Here are a few that I just took tonight with my new fancy camera:

2011 Photobomb

2012-01-04T17:07:00.008+01:00

JANUARY

The year started out with me being pregnant with Gia... I was in the honeymoon phase of pregnancy... no morning sickness, still small enough to get around and energy, too! I was busy with my job, as things with the Mobile Ultrasound Clinic were really going strong. We were at a new location downtown and were seeing God move in incredible ways- saving lives of babies and mothers! I also started documenting my pregnancy with Gia week by week.

FEBRUARY

My friends at PCC threw me an amazing baby shower! These women are so dear and special to my heart! They prayed for us with Whitney and even more so with Gianna. They were always such an encouragement to me. Leaving them was the hardest part of leaving Fresno. I still miss them, and working with them. I learned so much from these amazing women of faith. This is also the month that we made the difficult decision to move to Cincinnati. I gave my 2 weeks notice, and we left the last day of the month. I was getting very pregnant at this point, and thanks to the Revolution in Egypt, my mom actually came and stayed with us for a week, helping me pack. That was such a lifesaver... I have no idea how I thought I could pack up our whole house by myself at 29 weeks pregnant by myself! The last night of February, we boarded a red-eye flight for Ohio... with my 30 week pregnant belly, hubby, 4 suitcases, 3 carry-ons and 2 cats. Whew! I'm glad that's over!

MARCH
We moved to Cincinnati and spent the last few months as a twosome just going to doctor appointments, eating at Skyline and resting. I LOVE LOVE LOVED my doctors in Cinci. I was so nervous about transferring so late in my pregnancy, but they were fantastic. God certainly knew what I needed at that time. I loved our monthly/weekly visits down to Clifton... we always made sure to schedule it around lunchtime so we could eat at the Skyline down there, or try one of the cool ethnic restaurants.

APRIL

Both my mom and sister came to Cincinnati for the baby shower Sean's step-mom threw for us. It was so great to have so many people I loved together!! We went to the zoo with mom & sis and had a blast! At this point, I was so ready to have our baby! I was trying everything I could to get Gia to come... walking, eating spicy foods, bouncing on a ball. We were so ready for her to be in our arms! 2 weeks before my due date, I had to go buy new jeans because none of my others pants fit!

MAY

Finally! Our baby is here! Gia arrived May 5, and the rest of the ~~month~~ year was a blur!

JUNE

My sister came to visit at the beginning of this month, and it was great having her there! She got me started with the cloth diapers, and showed me some great ways to care for Gia. She's a super mom! At the end of the month, my parents came, and Sean and I spent the week at a hotel with them. We went to the museum one day and it was so much fun! It was great to have Gia's grandparents all together! This month, we also accepted a new job for Sean, as youth minister! Yay! After all the months of waiting, it was definitely worth it. That is really what I'd been praying for all along, that all the waiting would be worth it!

JULY
It was my big 3-0 birthday, and what did we do? Joe's Crab Shack, of course! Yum! Doesn't Gia look thrilled with her first Joe's experience? She actually did really great. Sean went to CIY with our new Youth Group while Gia and I chilled at home. Then, a week after that, we moved to our new home! And man, it was hot that month! Sadly, we had to put Duke down before we moved. Heartbroken.

AUGUST:
We began to settle into our new life and home... and loving being a family of 3!

SEPTEMBER

Football season starts! And we had a fun night out with our Wilson siblings in Indy. Sean's birthday was also this month, and the three of us spent a couple of nights at a beautiful cabin. It was starting to get cool in the evenings... Oh, how I love fall.

OCTOBER
My mom came to visit for a week and we did some fun Fall stuff... Covered Bridge festival and the Apple Orchard! It was such a great time with her! For Halloween, Gia was the most adorable Unicorn EVER!

NOVEMBER

We went to KC for Thanksgiving with my family and had a blast! It was our first long road trip with Gia and she did great! After we got home, our kitty Seal got sick and we had to put him down, too. So sad. We are now a pet-less home for the first time in our entire marriage. :(

DECEMBER

Sean and I went to our first Colts football game and had amazing seats! We had a great Christmas at home, just the three of us, then went to Cincinnati the next day to be with Sean's family.

Its been a crazy, whirlwind year. Good, but crazy. Can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for us!!

The Year Of...

2012-01-04T16:42:00.004+01:00

Last year was a crazy year. The past two years have stretched us more than ever before. My parents have started this thing where they come up with a theme for their year. For instance, early on in 2011, my mom deemed it the Year of Adventure. Her year started with a top-secret evacuation from their home in Egypt due to the revolution in February, and went on to include her being in a tornado, a flood and an earthquake. (You can read more on my mom's blog... its super cool!) Adventure, indeed! They've deemed this next year the Year of the Game... they're hoping to go on a Safari, play games with friends and have a neat game table made for them.

So I was trying to think what the theme would be for our past couple of years. 2010 was definitely the Year of Loss... we lost Whitney in early February, Sean lost his job just a few months later, and we lost our sense of direction in life. With 2011, a new breath of life came. The theme of loss carried over a bit... we had to move, lost friends, etc. But a restoration began in our lives. With our move to Cincinnati, Sean and I had nothing but time to build our relationship. Though there was the stress of not knowing when/if/how we would find another job and awaiting Gia's birth, it was one of the greatest times in our relationship. We were literally together 24/7 for 3 months straight, and we seriously only had maybe one argument. I know- I was amazed! The church in Fresno took a huge toll on both Sean and I personally. They were so hateful and hurtful, it had us questioning our own self-worth. (Something I know is not from God!) So the time we had to just retreat from all of the ugliness that happened at the church there was good. I pretty much cut ties with all but a few people, which was what I really needed at the time. I know that Sean was even more hurt by the leaders there, and it is still taking time for him to build up his confidence again. But God is beginning to restore that, too.

With the birth of Gia, a new kind of restoration took place. Though we will always feel the loss of Whitney, having Gianna in our lives is such a joy! God continued to restore our broken lives in the next few months as he brought us to an amazing church family and great job for Sean. I appreciate the leadership and team vision of the church, the outward/upward focus of the preaching and the family-like atmosphere with which they've welcomed us. God has brought me some amazing women with whom I am building friendships, and I am so grateful for that. I can be real with them- no need to fake it. We still have lots to learn about each other, which is part of the fun of developing new relationships. Again, a restoration I have prayed so hard for.

Our house in Fresno still has not sold, but we're hoping by the end of this month, a sale will go through. Losing that house makes me so sad- we worked so hard on making it our home. I loved it. But, at the end of the day, it was just a house. And where we are now feels more like home in just 6 months than 3 years in Fresno did. I know I've said before, but I am a huge home-body. "Home" is a big thing to me. I am thankful for the place we are living now, and know that building up that sense of home will just take time.

Another great restoration that has taken place this year is our proximity to family. I know that no where in the Bible does God promise we'll be close to family... in fact, much of Jesus' preaching talks about leaving your Father and Mother. But for right now, this season of life, we are close to Sean's family. And it is wonderful. 20 minutes from his brother and less than 2 hours from his dad. We don't know what the future holds, so for now, we are soaking it up as much as we can and not taking a single second for granted.

Every day with Gia feels like a restoration. Every day with her is a day that we didn't get with Whitney... every milestone is new. Of course, this is bittersweet, but sweet nonetheless. So if 2010 was the Year of Loss, and 2011 the Year of Restoration, I'm not yet sure what 2012 will be. The Year of Growth? There are so many areas I'd like to grow in, spiritually, personally and relationally. I don't know... but I'm excited to find out what the year holds!

What about you? What are you hoping to make 2012 the Year of?

More Than A Song (Happy NY!)

2012-01-03T17:36:00.003+01:00

I've tried looking back at the past couple of years on NYE for posts I've written, but I didn't write one! Crazy! I like having this blog to look at the years' past, but have not been so good at keeping it up lately. I still want to write a review of 2011, as it was a big year for us, but that will come when/if I ever get more than 10 minutes to sit and think in quiet! Its been a bit hectic around here lately! With the start of a new year, I've contemplated doing the 365 project again... I really enjoyed it when I started it in 2010, and did so well for more than 265 days... more than half way there! Then I got pregnant and fell off the face of the earth and stopped doing the pictures! I was so disappointed, and still am, that I didn't finish that! I'm also extremely overwhelmed right now with just a million little things, so I decided not to do the 365 project this year. I want to be sure to finish out Gia's weekly photos and not fizzle out on that. We're over half way there and I really want to complete that. So maybe NEXT year I will do the 365 again. But, one thing I do want to do is get better at documenting my day to day life with Gia. It probably won't be exciting to anyone but me and Gia (and maybe Nana!), but I'm going to try to document the sweet moments I don't want to forget. She is growing up so fast. Being a stay at home mom is not quite as fast-paced or exciting as my life was when I was working with the Mobile Clinic in Fresno. I don't meet new and interesting people every day, or deal with life and death, spiritual and mortal issues regularly. But I am taking on a new critical role, one of raising and training a child who has been entrusted to me & Sean by God. So while changing diapers and shushing a crying baby may get tiring and not seem like much in the moment, when I step back and look at what I have been given to do, I am in awe.

I had an "aha" moment the other night as I was swaying with Gia, singing her to sleep. I was tired of the usual line up of songs I typically sing to her each night, so I was searching my church camp catalogues in my mind. The song, "Heart of Worship" came to me and as I began singing, the words choked in my throat as tears filled my eyes....

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come...

Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring you more than a song For a song in itself Is not what you have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And its all about you, Its all about you,
Jesus....

More than a song... more than a song... I couldn't even sing the words as I realized that at that very moment, my act of worship was loving my daughter, and comforting her with all His love I could muster, despite my fatigue. Using my hands and arms to feel and know the presence and everlasting, unconditional love of our Heavenly Father. So this year, for starters, I want to worship more in my day to day life. I may not be able to chart the life-changes in a fancy report, but I can subtly and lovingly shape the heart of my daughter into one that will hopefully grow to love and serve God. I guess you could call that a "resolution" but we all know that those things only last until about March... and this is so much more than that.

35 Weeks!

2012-01-03T17:32:00.003+01:00

Happy New Year! We had a fun NYE with some friends, and Gia was quite the night owl... hence this week's fabric! We tried to put her to sleep in her pack n play, but she would not have it. So, she stayed up until almost midnight! But she was happy and smiley the whole time. I think she knew she was getting away with something. :) This week, Gia ate her first real "chunky" food- carrots! Before this, she's HATED anything solid or chunky in her mouth, no matter how small or soft. She would just gag and spit it out. Last night, I made some Kale & Quinoa minestrone soup. I took out some of the carrots and cut them up for her- she loved them! She still gagged quite a bit, and most of them landed on the floor, but she still ate some and enjoyed them! I think separation anxiety is setting in... I can barely put her down to play, let alone leave the room or do anything else. I can't see any more teeth coming in, though I keep hoping and praying one will just pop up and explain the intense fussiness! One night this week, she gave me 8 hours of sleep without waking... but that was a one time thing apparently. She's laughing and giggling at us so much now... all I have to do is make a silly face and she cracks up. We're seeing more and more of her personality including her temper... she SCREAMS at the top of her lungs when I take away the blue snot sucking bulb!

34 Weeks

2012-01-03T03:26:00.004+01:00

Look at that picture quality! I have a lot to learn about my new camera but am loving what it does even on its simplest settings! Gia's first Christmas was this week! She didn't "get" the opening presents, really... she was much more interested in the bows and ribbons atop the gifts. But she did have fun with all of the boxes and tearing the paper. She is mesmerized by the tree and lights, too. Sleep has been a major issue this week... our schedules have been a bit off, and I'm not quite sure what to do. Other than pray for patience and compassion, and thank God that she's in our arms this year! :)

Christmas 2011

2011-12-28T01:50:00.003+01:00

I made Gia this scrappy fabric tutu skirt for Christmas... another Pinterest inspiration! It was really pretty easy and fun... and looked adorable!! It was hard to get a good picture, but here are a few so you can get the idea. :)

We all went to Christmas Eve service together, and it was a beautiful service. Then we came home and opened our PJ presents. Gia really was just interested in eating the bow.

I got this awesome cupcake carrier/stand... and I got Sean this hiking backpack for him & Gia. She loves it! I can't wait for Spring to hit some hiking trails!

As you can see, Gia put everything she got in her mouth!
Aren't these reindeer butt jammies so cute!?

Yesterday, we went to Cincinnati to have Christmas with Sean's family. It was a great time, and we are so very blessed. We've waited so very long to have Gia with us at Christmas... there were days I thought it would never be reality. I am overwhelmed with so much joy for having her in our life, but even more so for having the hope of eternity with God, made possible through the birth and death of his son on this earth!

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-24T20:07:00.002+01:00

This is our first Christmas as a "real" family of three... as in three people actually in pictures, three people actually opening presents, three people actually celebrating the birth of our Saviour. The past two Christmases have been wonderful, but they were TWO people with one in my belly. There were days when I never thought I'd have a baby to celebrate with at Christmas. But I am so thankful that God has seen fit to bless us and entrust Gia to us to bring her up in Him. Merry Christmas!

Date Night!

2011-12-23T23:27:00.005+01:00

Sean and I had a fantastic date last night... in fact, it was the first time we've left her with anyone other than my mom! And we were gone for 7 whole hours! A friend gave us tickets to last night's Colts game and it was a blast! We took Sean's brother and sister-in-law, and it made for a great time! The seats were UH-mazing, to say the least. We were in the club seating area, meaning we had an entire club/restaurant/bar area that was just for our section! We also had a sweet parking pass,... I felt very VIP the whole way! And the seats... 3rd row from the field! Doesn't get much better than that. After a less than stellar season, I was not holding my breath for a win, so when we actually got one, it was even better!! It was fun to watch all the hubbub on the sidelines and see the interactions between the players. VERY interesting! I am so thankful for my friend Heather who watched Gia and made me feel so at peace the whole time she was in her capable hands! For our first date in almost 8 months, it was perfect. And hard to top. :) And now for the photo bomb:

Peyton stalking....

Collie

Michael Irving... he totally "good gamed" this reporter. She didn't seem to mind.
Vinatieri before a kick

Peyton heading out to the field for a talk before the winning drive!

33 Weeks

2011-12-22T18:24:00.003+01:00

What a week! Gia gave us an early Christmas gift in the form of 3 nights of sleeping 5 or 6 hours straight! Yay! That streak was short-lived, though, as her bottom tooth has started to come through. So we were up several times again the past couple of nights. The darn thing still hasn't poked through. We got Gia a highchair for Christmas, but are already letting her use it (she's a baby- she won't know the difference!) and she loves it! I think she likes sitting up at the table with us when we eat dinner now. Tonight, we are leaving Gia with a baby sitter (my friend, Heather) for the first time! Sean and I are going to a Colts game!! I'm excited but nervous. She still won't take milk from anything but me, so I'm hoping she'll be ok with just some baby food before bed until I get home late. Gia is still babbling, but no discernible words yet. She is a pro at standing now, too.. she thinks she doesn't need to hold on to anything but she does. She's bumped her little head quite a lot this week! We went to Cincinnati for Sean's Grandpa's memorial mass this weekend, and she did pretty good with all the people. I think her stranger anxiety is getting a little better... she let different people hold her and didn't always cry when I left her sight. We also had to lower the mattress on her crib to the lowest setting! Our girl is growing up fast!

ETA: Gia did great without us on Thursday night! We had a blast at the game, Gia had a great time with her friend while we were gone. :)

PS- Do you notice the MUCH better quality of this photo!?? Thanks to my hubby for an AWESOME new Canon DSLR camera!!! Sure, the shadows are still a bit much, but I waited until after 5 pm to take the pic. But the clarity, color and overall picture is SO much better. I have a lot to learn, but am up for the challenge!!

32 Weeks

2011-12-22T18:15:00.003+01:00

I forgot to post last week's picture on the blog... I added it to our FB album, but didn't put it here! This week, Gia has finally mastered drinking out of the straw! Although that is the only type of sippy cup she prefers now. Gia is crawling like crazy and pulling up on everything! She loves to pull all of the toys out of her toy basket, and she's still trying to eat the Christmas tree. She's still waking up twice each night, though I don't think its because she is hungry. So we're playing around with different things to help her stay asleep. No luck yet, but I'm hopeful. I think her second bottom tooth is trying to come in, but so far it doesn't seem like its bothering her too bad... just lots of drool. Gia has been so much fun this week... happy, smiling, blowing raspberries and giggles. Her weekly photos are getting more and more challenging, though... most of the pictures look like this:

or this:

But here is this week's runner-up photo:

I got some tips on new settings to try for my camera that will hopefully make next week's picture better. We'll see... its hard with no natural light in our house already, along with mostly cloudy days!

31 weeks

2011-12-11T23:20:00.003+01:00

31 weeks! I am still so frustrated with my camera... so I apologize for the over-processing of this photo! It took two sessions to get a decent shot with mobile Miss Gia (and finally had to bribe her with this ornament to stay on her back (its plastic)), so I had to do a lot to this pic to make it look decent. Anyone want to gift me a DSLR for Christmas? :) This week has kind of been a blur. Still no new teeth, but Gia is starting to "talk" a bit more. We're working on using a sippy cup, but she doesn't quite get it. I'm hoping that once she gets that down, she'll take some milk in it. That way I could get a break if I ever need one! She's been up a lot at night, too... still every 3 hours or so. I think we did get one night of 5 hours this week. I introduced bananas, and she LOVES them. We still have a few more days before the reflux medicine will be at its full potential, so I am hoping that once that has had time to really work, her sleep will start getting better. I can't believe Christmas is so close!! Here's a few outtakes: