Sean & Shey: July 2016

Between Us Girls

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Between Us Girls: Walks and Talks for Moms and Daughters

I am SO excited to bring you this review today! From the moment I started to read this book, I became super passionate about sharing it will all my fellow Girl Moms. Being a mom to a daughter can be tough, especially if your childhood relationship with your own mother was strained. I know that I didn't have the kind of open, conversational relationship with my mom that as an adult I desire with my daughter. I know that was largely due to my own attitude and behavior, but fostering an open, conversational relationship with my daughter is high on my priority list.

One thing that I started doing when Gia was about two years old is to play a game called "Ask Me a Question, Any Question." (I made it up and she titled it.) Basically, before bed I would tell her "Ask me a question, any question and I'll tell you the honest answer." Well she took right off with it! I really should write down some of the questions she comes up with because they're really quite creative-- why is the sky blue? What do fish eat? Where do boogers come from? All kinds of silly things like that. But she's also asked some really good, serious questions. Things like, Where does God live? How do we know God made us? What was Jesus like when he was my age? All great questions that have been phenomenal diving boards into some really great conversations with my preschooler! But the underlying idea behind this silly game is that I want my girls to know that they can always come to me and ask me a question-- any question-- and I will tell them the honest answer. So even when she asked how babies get in a mommy's tummy, I didn't take the easy way out (a stork!). Instead I gave her a slightly more complicated but age-appropriate answer so that some day, when we're ready for THE BIG TALK, I won't have to tell her I lied to her when she was little. We're building a foundation of trust. At least that's the hope. (praying on my knees!)

Now, with Trish Donohue's book Between Us Girls: Walks and Talks for Moms and Daughters, I feel like I have a whole new tool in my toolbox of parenting girls. Between Us Girls is a book that contains twenty-six gospel-driven talks to guide mothers through a simple, sustainable way to disciple their daughters. Reading God's word together, asking one another questions, and being honest about their struggles, moms and daughters learn new habits and establish lifelong patterns for communicating about what matters most. This book is not very long at all, but the content is so incredibly rich. Here is a look at the twenty-six guided conversations this book dives into:

The table of contents breaks it down into 26 weeks, but really you could cover this material in so many different ways. You could set up "dates" every other week for a year, or have a standing "date" every week for 6 months. You could work your way through the book over a number of years, though I think that establishing a committed time to purposefully walk through each of these conversations might be best. (Life can seriously get in the way if we are not committed to being intentional!!!)

In each conversation, there are four parts:

The Garden
The Weeds
The Hill
The Field

The Garden "describes God's vision for us. It reminds us of the Garden of Eden, a place unspoiled by sin-- the way God intended for it to be."
In The Weeds section we talk "about how sin messes everything up. That's what happened when Adam and Eve chose to turn away from God's design and follow their own. The daisies wilted and thorns and weeds grew up.
The Hill we will be passing is the hill of Calvary. It represents the Gospel: the Good News of Jesus' death and resurrection.
We'll end our walks in The Field. This is where we take the truths we've learned and get to work. Seeds are planted and fruit grows-- we watch the Gospel change everything."

I hope you can tell just from reading those brief explanatory excerpts how deeply moving this book can be. Every section of each conversation has questions for both moms and girls. They are sometimes funny, sometimes serious. There are questions that allow moms to tell about some of their past experiences, hopes and dreams, and there are questions that help girls open up about their desires, fears and feelings. I feel like every mother of a daughter needs to have this book in their hands. I am just so passionate about spreading the word about this book-- and no, I am not being paid by the author to do so! I did receive this book for free as an advanced reading copy but I plan on buying several more to give as gifts!

As far as what age I think this book would work best for... there is not a "recommended age" given by the author in this book, but I think as a mom, you can gauge your child's readiness for these conversations. I feel that at five years old, Gia is just a bit young. I feel that by waiting maybe 2 or 3 more years, we will be able to have much better conversations. But I will say this-- I know we want to keep our girls "little" for a long time and not expose them to the world. This book is not about revealing dangers in the world or scary things that could happen. It is GOSPEL-CENTERED and TRUTH-INSTILLING. It is truly FOUNDATIONAL. I truly think that the younger, the better. So I *personally* would recommend this for any girl around age 7 or more. It depends on the maturity of your daughter, of course, but I think that would be a good age to at least begin to consider it. I'd love to hear your feedback on that, if you do purchase the book.

I hope that if you get this book, you truly love it as much as I do. There could be so many uses for it outside of just a mother-daughter relationship too. It could be used in a mentor relationship, and I'm even trying to think of a way that it could become a mother-daughter weekend retreat. The possibilities are endless. I hope you take it and run with it, and you and your daughters' lives are forever changed for the better. And I want to hear from you! Let me know what you think!

You can purchase it here: