How Far Along: 40 weeks... 10 months preggo!

Size of baby: I know for sure now.... 7 pounds 13 oz.

Total Weight Gain: Pregnancy weight gain grand total is............ 40 pounds even. Not too bad... just a little bit above the 25-35 where I'd hoped to stay. But 40 isn't bad. I'm fine with that!

Maternity Clothes: Oh yes.

Gender: Girl! Gianna Noelle

Movement: All this past week she's been very active!

Sleep: Sleep sucks. It hurts and I do'nt get much of it. Atleast after she comes, sleeping won't hurt anymore!

What I miss: Being able to pick up something if I drop it!

Cravings: Nothing much I can think of!

Best Moment of the Week: Arriving at our weekly Dr's visit and being told we are going to have the baby today!!!!!

Appointments This Week? Yes, we're weekly now. We went in for our 40 weeks appointment where they routinely do a non-stress test and check baby's fluid level. We went in at 9:00 and they did an ultrasound where they saw that Gianna's fluid levels were pretty low. The tech just looked at us and said, "Well, you're probably going to have a baby today!" WHAT? YAY! So from there it was pretty much a whirlwind of excitment. I'll post about her birth in a separate post later one.

What I’m looking forward to: Looking into my baby's eyes!

One Thing I've Learned This Week: God truly means it when he knows how much we can handle. I am so thankful that HE knows my limits, and enables me to meet them with His grace and for his glory.

Pictures from this week:

We are so madly in love with our little girl. Thanks for following along and praying with us throughout the pregnancy. We appreciate it so much and love all of you!! Now, stay tuned for posts as we watch our Rainbow Beauty grow!!!!

I was at work late tonight, and feeling really pregnant today so I thought I'd take a picture and share. :-) Yesterday, I totally didn't feel or look pregnant at all. So I was happy when I woke up and my belly was tight. Luckily, these pants still fit though. :-) As I was driving home tonight, I cranked up some Garth Brooks and told Whitney about her 'roots'... how her mamma is just a country girl from Oklahoma who love Garth and Reba and would totally take her to Vegas to see Garth's new concert if I could travel. (We still plan on doing that this year... maybe! hopefully!) I told her how I love tornado season and the wide-open, hay-filled green fields that line I-44. I told her how much she would love stopping for donuts at QuikTrip every Sunday morning (and Tuesday afternoon, and Wednesday evening, and... well... anytime we were close to a QT!). I told her how much fun snow is and how cute she'd be all bundled up in a snow suit. I told her about the cows Gran and DeDad used to raise and how much fun I had as a little girl during calving season, naming every single new calf that was born. I told her how cute she'd look in little cowgirl boots and how I'm sure she'd love country music as much as I do. However, I also made sure to tell her that as much as I do love Oklahoma, the real "OSU" would always have to be THE Ohio State University and we never, ever say "Boomer Sooner" in our house. Or wear Texas orange. She was moving the whole drive home. And it was wonderful.

Sean posted this to our other blog, so I thought I'd repost here, too.

Sean wrote this post on our other blog today and I thought I would share. Its so beautiful.

Sean and I had another dr. appt. today... and as is par for the course, we came out with no more information than we walked in with. We are still waiting on the results of our amnio, and after that our doctor will hopefully have a better idea of what kind of care plan we will make for the rest of our pregnancy.

As we were leaving, Sean and I were talking about how we just can't help but feel hopeful that God will perform a miracle and heal our daughter. If the amnio comes back with no chromosomal abnormalities, there is plenty of time for most of the abnormalities that we have seen on the ultrasound to be healed and corrected. This hope that we have in her healing is so strong at some moments, and nearly non-existant in other moments.

I have never felt "hope" as strongly and urgently as I have in these past few weeks. But as we left the doctor today, I started to wonder, what happens when all that we've hoped for doesn't come true? If this is what you call hope, what do you call it when all that you've hoped for and believed in is gone? We jokingly came up with a 'colorful' term for this opposite-of-hope, but I've still been thinking about it all night.

I've finally realized that as a Christian, I always have hope... I have the hope of heaven, the hope of salvation and the hope of Christ. The hope of our daughter being healed may some day fade away, but hope itself never has to leave. It all depend on the one in which I put my hope in. If my hope is truly in Christ, then hope will never be lost. I may grieve the outcome if it is not what I had 'hoped' for, but my eternal hope that someday everything will be right never has to go away.

I still have moments of 'high hopes' that our Whitney will be healed, often followed by moments of despair at the 'what-ifs'. But I am trying to really check myself and ask where it is that my hope truly lies.

"May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit."

(This might be a long one... wanna get a cup of cocoa first?)

Can I just tell you how I feel that God has truly prepared me my whole life for this very specific season? I've always known and believed that each of our experiences in life build upon one another, and help us in our future plans and decisions. Every choice we make in life will impact another choice or circumstance that will arise in the future.

I was 8 years old when my baby brother was born. Though I was young and don't remember any of the deatils, I know that my mom had a very difficult pregnancy with him. She was on bedrest most of the pregnancy. In fact, we didn't even know she was pregnant until she had to go on bedrest and we were wondering why Mom had to be in bed all day! The doctors told my parents that David would have a very slim chance of leading a normal life... because he would certainly be born premature, its was likely that he would be deaf and possibly blind, have mental delays and a whole host of other medical and developmental problems. Well, my brother was born extremely premature on October 8th. He was in the NICU for a very long time. Because I was young, I don't know all the details, but I do know that his outcome was sketchy at best sometimes.

Finally, right before Christmas, David got to come home. He was so tiny, he fit into one of our stockings! Though he still had to be hooked up to a heart monitor at all times, he was home and getting stronger each day. I will never forget the day that David was dedicated in front of our church. I think it was Steve Thomas (but I'm not sure about that) who stood up in front of the congregation with my parents as they held David, and he said "Folks, this is a child, not a choice." That was my first encounter with the thought that there would ever be a choice in continuing a pregnancy. To this day, God's sovereignty, healing and protection shines through in the life of my brother... a smart, flourishing 20-year old college student living in Chicago. He can very much see, hear, speak, walk, think... all things the doctors told him he might not be able to do. Before he was born, my parents had a choice of whether or not to continue with his life, knowing that it might be difficult. But the decided to rely on God and handle with care the life that He entrusted to them, and I am forever greatful for their example.

Though I will never forget that moment in church, I haven't thought about it in years. Fast-forward to college. I had a roomate who had a night of 'indescretion' and thought that she may be pregnant. I took her to a pregnancy care center in our town, and there she received wonderful counseling, caring support and life-changing information. She wasn't pregnant, but I was so impressed with the quality of care and the dignity that she was given, I knew I had to be a part of that ministry. I began volunteer training in January and started counseling there once a week. I learned so much about the sanctity of human life, the beauty of God's designs in His children, and the value that every single beating heart has. I saw beautiful but broken women make heartbreaking decisions... decisions not for life. I saw the effect it had on their lives, their relationships, their souls. I heard the lies that this world told them, and my heart broke along with theirs. I also got to see beautiful, strong women who made difficult decisions for life. I saw how their lives were changed, how their hearts were changed, and the joy that they carried with them. With every flicker of a heartbeat I saw on ultrasound, the truth from so many years ago resonated in my head, "Its a child, not a choice."

Several years, several jobs and several moves later, I have found myself again working in a life-affirming ministry I love. I truly have the best of both worlds here... daily contact with men and women who desperately need to know the love and grace of Christ (and the freedom to share that with them!), while at the same time, being constantly surrounded, uplifted, encouraged and loved by Godly superwomen. Before God even brought Whitney into our lives, He knew that Sean and I would need the support of those who value life just as much as we value our unborn daughter. Through all of this, I can honestly say that I have a greater understanding of where many of my clients are coming from, where as before I had been so protected from the tough decisions that arise with either an unplanned pregnancy or a pregnancy with a poor prenatal diagnosis.

I feel like God has prepared me my whole life for this very season. He has taught me the beautiful, amazing truths of how He creates life. He has given me the support of loving friends and family and co-workers who are 100% behind Sean and I in our decision to carry Whitney until God takes her home. I am enjoying the growth and development of my daughter, even though I can't see her. This may sound silly, but I am so thankful for the scientific advances that allow us to know what is going on in my womb... at 21 days, her heart was beating. By 7 weeks, she had all of her vital organs. She started moving (though I couldn't feel it yet!), and the buds of milk teeth began to appear. By 10 weeks, her hands and feet were perectly formed and her fingerprints already permanently engraved on her skin. By 16 weeks, she had fingernails and eyelashes! I could go on and on about the miracle of our little one. But the point is, I am so thankful that God cared enough about Whitney that he took years to prepare her mamma for the journey of caring for her.

I've been reading through the Psalms and have been finding great strength, hope and comfort from them. However, a couple of nights ago I came across one that has been giving me fits ever since I read it. Here it is:

Today we went back to the Children's Hospital. I wasn't able to meet with the neonatalogist, as she had an emergency come up. So we are going to reschedule for another time.

I thought you all might like to see some pictures of this little girl that Sean and I are so madly in love with. So... here she is in all her black-and-white ultrasound photo cuteness. :-)

Profile Pic:
This is my favorite of her... a front-on shot... you can see where her eyes are, too! Isn't she beautiful?

Through my job, I have been able to meet some really neat people in the medical community. One of them is a doctor I met in a nearby town, where we will be taking our mobile medical unit. He runs a clinic in a very poor town, and never refuses to see a patient if they are sick, regardless of their ability to pay or not. He loses millions of dollars every year, just seeing patients for free. He is a strong, Christian man who is very pro-life and is extrememly well respected in the area. Also through the course of making contacts for our mobile unit, I have gotten to know the VP of this doctor's medical board very well. (She's one of the women I had a meeting with yesterday!) This doctor's wife also 'just happens' to be the head of the neonatal unit at the children's hospital we have been going to.