Is It Worth It? (and other miscellaneous things...)
Thursday, September 10, 2009I love Fall. Its my favorite time of year. Well, at least it used to be... back when we lived in a place where the season actually existed. Lately I've been wondering if this is all really worth it.... living so far away from family. Sean's grandma is really sick and probably won't make it through the week... of course we won't be able to go to her funeral. This is especially hard because she is Sean's maternal grandma... his mom's mom. Losing her is losing another link to Jill. (Sean's mom) I hate that we haven't seen Grandma since we went to Grandpa's funeral last summer. I hate that before his funeral, we hadn't seen Grandpa since... well, who knows when.
My mom leaves on Monday for Egypt. I hate that we won't be in Tulsa to see her off. My brother is at school in Chicago, and probably feeling really on his own right now. I hate that we're not close enough to drive to see him. (Even a 10 or 12 hour drive would be great.) My sister is the closest in Arizona (about 10 hours away), but with both Sean and I having to work (thank-you over-inflated California) we haven't been to see her in the 2 years we've lived here.
My brother in law is getting married in November. I am so thankful that we will get to be there for that, but am really saddened that we won't get to be there in the time before or after it. (Like next weekend, for their wedding shower.) We're bringing a little one into the world... but will he/she even know his/her grandparents? Aunts & Uncles? Cousins? Or will they just be people in pictures, who they see every few years?
I know I am being whiney and I know that there are people who live much farther from their families than we do, but this is my blog. :-)
Its really not like we are doing anything here that we couldn't be doing in Cincinnati... or somewhere around there at least. So is it really worth it? I really don't think it is. At least that's what I initially answer. But then I have to force myself to think of the path that brought us here to where we are at... and I realize that it was a path completely laid out by God... LONG before we ever even thought about it. I have to find humor in the fact that I always said I never wanted to live in California or raise my children there. ha. If there's anything I've learned about going where God sends you, it is this: if you can see some kind of irony or God-like humor about where you are or where He's leading... you're probably in the right place. So while I don't completly know why the heck He is keeping us here or what we're really doing here, I just have to keep going back to the choice we made 2 years ago. We were so certain that it was His leading. And I draw my strength from the truth that God will not abandon us mid-course... he is always with us.
In other news... How's your B90X reading going? It amazes me some of the things that are in the Bible. It is also amazing to me how when I read multiple chapters and books in a matter of days, there is such continuity to the whole thing... I haven't gotten a chance to write about when Bob Sjogren was at our church a few weeks ago, but the whole point of his message was that the Bible is meant to be one continous book with on clear theme: God's heart for the Nations.
In baby news, we're doing good... went to the dr. last week and he/she had doubled in size in just the two weeks between appointments. I am hungry all the time but also nauseaus and sicky, too. But I'm trying to take that as a good sign that baby is growing!
3 Lovely Words
Funny as I've been trying to understand God's timing and sense of humor as well. Not so much where we are located, but what the next step is in where he is leading. Part of me wants to know, but part of me is afraid to know. Guess that keeps me rely on Him.
ReplyDeleteI am loving the B90X reading. Reading that many chapters at once is helping me to see some stories from a whole new perspective. There have also been several "Wow! That story is jacked up. How did that get in here" type moments. Can't say that Numbers was real exciting though but at least it was only for a couple of days.
Sheyenne, I love how God is growing your faith through your trust in Him. God bless you! Being a photo on the wall is not the best way to be a grandma... I love it that some of my friends have grandkids around the corner from them and that others get to square dance with theirs. But this grandma's heart will cherish every story and photo you share with us and like so many others far from their loved ones, we will repeat them to anyone who will listen!
ReplyDeleteMy hope is that we will do all we can to keep close...Roseann and Dave have done a wonderful job at that...it is possible!
hey!! oh my gosh!! pregnant!!! so excited for you!! i havent been on the computer in ages and i have missed out on some big things!!! congrats to you and your husband! that is so exciting!!
ReplyDeleteon another note, i am with you on the is it worth it being so far away. after having my little one, living in london is the last thing i want to do. i have to remind myself everyday that God has a plan, and its so much better than any plan i would have. i will be praying for you guys as you restle with everything and prepare to be parents.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I'd love to hear from you!