Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Life keeps moving and I can't seem to catch up. We're doing well here in California, but it amazes me how much different the pace of life here is compared to what life was in the South. Perhaps its because I'm also working a full 40 hour work week that life seems to jet by me like a blur. I haven't handwritten a single notecard since Christmas, I haven't even touched my scrapbooking, and forget having any fun with my photography. I've had no time for creative outlets since we've moved and its driving me nuts. Literally, I wake up, go to work, come home, fix dinner, clean up dinner, then go to bed. OR, I wake up, go to work, go to some church thing that I have to be at, THEN come home and go to bed. This is no way to live, but I can't seem to find the balance. I don't even have time to blog like I used to... I barely check my personal emails, and forget my aspirations of writing. I'm hoping this is only a temporary season of life, but come on. I've been stuck in that rut of "if only..." and "what if..."

<----- I have this book, I've had it for ages. I think I got it off the Bargain Book Shelf at Borders years ago. IF (Questions for the Game of Life). Its a fun book to flip through and pick out a question.... 'If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?' 'If you could relive one romantic date from high school, which would you choose?' 'If you won the lottery today, what would you do?' Its a great book for long youth group road trips, or for long car rides when you run out of things to talk about.
Lately, though... I've been playing the not-so-fun game of "what-if".... 'What if we had stayed where we were?' 'What if we had not bought our house?' What if, what if, what it. I had to snap myself out of it the other night and realize that living in the Land of If is not a great place to live. And its not the way that God intended for us to live. John 10:10 says that Christ came so that we may have life~ ABUNDANT life. And living in the land of "what if" is, well... less than abundant.
My favorite verse (for a number of reasons) is Isaiah 43:19~
For I am about to do a brand-new thing. See, I have already begun! Do you
not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to
come home. I will create rivers for them in the desert!

Each day is a new day, bloom where you're planted... blah blah blah. There's a reason all these sayings have stuck around for so many years. They're true. IF we had stayed in NC, I wouldn't have to work... IF we had stayed in NC, we would probably be pregnant right now. IF we were in NC still, I'd be working on my Master's. IF we stayed in NC, I'd still get to see all my friends. IF we stayed in NC, we'd get to see family more. IF IF IF. All this IF-ing isn't helping. So I need to suck it up, realize that we're here for a reason. At the time, we really felt this is where we are supposed to be. So now, I have to shut-up my If-ing and start the seeking.... what does He have for us here?

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1 Lovely Words

  1. My beautiful friend Shey-
    I love you so much....your honesty and your vulnerability. I love how you always say what I want to say but dont have the guts. Anyways...hang in there friend. God has you in this season of life for a reason! I miss you and wished we lived closer to each other! Mucho Love!


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