Things I Do

Saturday, July 23, 2011

This was my first real week of being a stay at home mom and I am loving it. I guess I have technically been a SAHM the past 10 weeks, too, but with Sean back at work now, it feels legit. He is working and I am staying home to take care of our most precious cargo. And I am loving every freakin' minute of it. I pray every morning that we are able to continue to do this.

I’ve been reading Shauna Niequist’s book “Bittersweet.” She has a chapter in there that talks about things she does and does not do. The idea is that we can’t be perfect at everything, or even exert the energy to try at everything. By giving yourself the freedom to say you don’t do a certain something, you are freeing yourself up to be really good at the things you do do. So here is my list of things I do and don’t do as of this season in my life.

Things I Do:

First and Foremost, I seek to make Christ the center of everything in my life-- in my heart, in my home and in my relationships. I spend time in prayer, study and fellowship. I am devoted to my church community, spending time with other believers in weekly worship and service.

I strive to make my marriage the best that it can be. I work hard at being a good wife to Sean, putting him before all other earthly relationships in my life. Listening to him. Anticipating his needs and meeting them. Praying for and with him. Providing a comforting, inviting home for him to walk into every evening.

In partnership with my husband, I provide care and love for our daughter. The better part of my days are devoted to her-- feeding her, playing with her, talking to her, nurturing her. I want what I feel is best for my daughter, not what someone else thinks I “should” do that is best for her. We choose to cloth diaper because we have the resources (handed-down from my sister), the time (stay at home mom, yay!) and the desire to do so. We do not do it because we feel pressured into it, or like we are bad parents if we use a disposable every now and then because its more convenient. I’ve committed to breastfeeding Gia for as long as I can, hopefully at least a year. I am doing this because I feel like it is the best for her development, and for our bonding relationship. I don’t pass judgment on anyone who chooses not to do this. Its just a personal preference for my daughter. When the time comes, I may or may not choose to make our own baby food. Again, not because I feel like I have to, or I do it to be a “super mom” in the eyes of others, but just because I kinda think I might enjoy it. These things I do because I feel they are best for my baby.

I enjoy a clean living space. Many women put “keeping a clean house” on their list of things they don’t do, which is fine for them. But for me personally, I feel better, am more productive and generally in a better mood if there is some order of cleanliness about my home. This doesn’t mean it will be spotless all the time, and you shouldn’t expect to eat off my floors if you stop by for a mid-week visit. But I do try to pick up something every day. However, just because I appreciate a clean home doesn’t mean all my friends do. So please don’t feel judged if I come to your house and its not so clean. And I know that Gia is still little, so its probably easier to keep things picked up right now that she can’t quite pull toys out as I am putting them away. :)

I like to make things and I do crafty stuff. Not nearly as much as I would like, but when I find the time and I have the resources available, I like to make things. It may be a handmade thank-you card for a friend, a hairbow for Gia, or a scrapbook page. Whatever it is, I do it because I enjoy it. Not because I feel like I need to be in competition with anyone else to be Crafty Mom of the Block. So if you do happen to get a handmade card or a dozen cookies from me, please know it is because I love you and I genuinely enjoy doing those things. Don’t feel less than or like you have to return the favor. I know not everyone does those things, and that’s ok.

Finally, there are the other things I do that go in the “boring-but-someone’s-got-to-do-it” category: grocery shopping, budgeting, bill paying, cooking, etc. I don’t really enjoy any of those things, but they are things I do because, well, someone has to.

Things I Don’t Do:

I don’t blow dry my hair every day or dress up just because I am leaving my house. Don’t tell anyone, but I don’t always take a shower every day. I try to look nice for my husband and take care of myself, but I don’t get all gussied up just to go to Wal-Mart.

I don’t like being surrounded by people 24/7. Some of my friends are serious extroverts and want to be with other people all the time. That’s just not me. Don’t get me wrong-- I love being with friends and definitely need that community. But some Saturdays, I would rather just watch a movie at home with some Chinese take out. So I don’t pressure myself into being a social butterfly because that is just not who I am.

I don’t waste time on drama. Believe it or not, the drama doesn’t end when you graduate High School. There is still plenty to be found in Adulthood, too. However, I’m over it. I don't look for it and try my best to stay out of any that comes my way.

I am not a perfect decorator. Despite the fact that I enjoy a clean house, I am not a design expert or interior decorator. And I am learning to be ok with that. I would love for my home to look like a page out of Pottery Barn, but that is neither in my budget nor my expertise. I have shelves full of knick knacks from our travel and frames filled with people I love, and that’s good enough for me.

I don’t have a green thumb. I wish I did, but I don’t so I am learning to be ok with that. Its now on the list of my “Dont’s” so I no longer need to feel pressure to be good at it, right? I can’t keep a plant alive longer than a week. But, if I get an itch to plant something, I will probably do it anyway... I just won’t feel like a failure when it dies.

So there is my list of things I do and don’t do for this season. I am sure it will change, as everything in life does, and I reserve the freedom to add to either list as I see fit. But it really is freeing to know I don’t have to do everything perfectly. So what is on your do and don’t list?

You Might Also Like

0 Lovely Words

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I'd love to hear from you!