I'm always amazed at how quickly things change. Maybe this is because most of my life, I have resisted change. You know how when you don't like something, it seems to pop up everywhere around you? That's been the story of my life this past year.

Last year on my birthday, for my 29th, Sean and I went to San Francisco for the weekend. A lot of things were different then...



It was quite the extravagant birthday present... front row seats to Wicked, a boutique hotel in the heart of Union Square, and the usual amazing sight seeing that SF has to offer.

It was just the two of us...
We owned our own house...
We both had great paying jobs...
We felt rooted in California...

This year, a lot of things have changed.

We're now a family of THREE...
We're living in my in-law's basement...
We're both unemployed...
We're in a transition from one part of the country to another.


On the surface, last year seems like it should have been great. Things were working, going smoothly, life was easy. And this year, despite the greatest blessing of Gia, things may appear to be difficult. But as Sean and I were talking over dinner tonite (at Joe's-- where else would I go for my birthday dinner??), I could honestly say that this was the best year ever. Tears filled my eyes as they were dancing the Macarena at my table because my heart was simply overflowing with joy. I had all I will ever need right there at the table with me... my husband and my baby. (And crab legs. Lots of crab legs. And cookie cake waiting at home. But those are beside the point.) Life is about so much more than being "settled" or feeling "secure." Its about more than taking great trips and getting expensive presents.

As I am personally entering a new decade of my life, our family is entering a new chapter as well. One that we know will come with new challenges: budgeting, staying closer to home, new people. But it is one that we are jumping with anticipation to begin, because we know that this is what God has been preparing us for all along.

For my birthday this year, Sean got me a book called "Bittersweet" by Shauna Niequest. I've only read the first chapter, but our stories are pretty similar: get pregnant, lost a job, moved, painful experience at a church she loved, etc. Like I said, I could have written the background to her first chapter with what we've experienced this past year. But she talks about change.... how the central message of the Gospel is death and rebirth. When life is going great, Christians tend to overlook that... but when you've really been through the ringer of life, you come to realize that the message of Christ, the heart of God is truly about death and rebirth. And neither of those things can take place without change. There's so much more that she wrote about this, but I would just butcher her eloquent thoughts. What I took from it though, is that if we are to really grow from our seasons of change, we must train our hearts and our spirit to look for signs of rebirth. A hint of spring's green through winter's snow. A bud on a barren branch. Signs that new life is just around the corner.

So that's where I am now... looking for the signs of new life. I feel like we've rounded the corner of a season of loss: the loss of Whitney, our jobs, our home, our friends, our way of life; and are seeing the obvious signs of spring: a new life in Gia, new church family, new job, new home, new way of life. But when the dark times come again--which I know they will-- it is my prayer that I will be quicker to anticipate and pray for the coming of new life than I have been before.