Random thoughts today...

* I took Gia to the doctor to check her weight today... she's gained 6 ounces in two weeks. I don't konw if that is necessarily a lot, but at least she's not losing weight. Because, goodness, that child is eating all. the. time.

* There are no synonyms for "thoughts" that begin with "N." Believe me, I tried to find one. What can I say, I like alliterations.

* I love Fall. I started wearing my beautiful, colorful Egypt scarves again this week. I think that shall be my staple this season: long sleeved shirt, scarf, jeans, boots. Done. Maybe a cute blazer for when it gets really cold. Any tips for where to buy great boots?

* My husband is the greatest. He is such a natural with Gia, and I love it. He even puts her gDiapers on like a pro!

* Speaking of gDiapers, we're having a bit of a leaky issue with those. I need to call the company today to figure it out. I think it has to do with the fact taht we're still kinda in between sizes. Regardless of the issues, I still LOVE them.

* One of the favorite parts of my day is restuffing Gia's diapers after she goes to bed. Don't know why... it just is.

* I love Fall because of all the new shows on TV. So far, we've like Up All Night. We have several other new series on DVR to check out, too. Now we just need time to watch them. Do you have any you like?

* I watched the Republican debates last week. Very interesting. What say you?

* Another thing I love? Skype. I get to talk to my mom several times a week and it is awesome! Speaking of my mom... she's coming in just about 2 weeks!!! Yay!!!!

That's all for today... what random things are on your mind today?

This week's photo is a little late because Sean, Gia and I took our first family vacay to a beautiful Lodge. We found this furry animal skin rug to take her weekly picture on, and couldn't resist the Davey Crockett coon hat! Gia is definitely teething now... drooling all over the place. For weeks, she's been pretty quiet, not really "talking" much, but just the past few days she has started to "talk" again. I'm thinking its because she has been working on using her hands and now that she has pretty much mastered that, she can go back to working on her verbal skills. She is smiling more, too and is just SO cute!

Gia is most definitely our little outdoor girl. She loves to be outside, and is absolutely mesmerized by trees over her head. Last week, we checked out a new park by our house. It has some great trails that are filled with trees everywhere. Gia was so quiet and observant the whole time... she LOVED it!

Yay! I finally updated the look of our blog... this is just a quick post to test out the new siggy. :)

You know your daddy's a youth minister when you spend your Saturday night glowing in black lights at Monster mini-golf! We had a middle school fun night last night and went to Monster golf followed by Orange Leaf for some yummy fro-yo. I thought Gia might freak out at the black light surroundings, but she loved it. She was very observant and chill the whole night. (Well, until the fro yo place, when it go to be past her bedtime. Then she screamed the whole way home.) But at one point when we were at the golf place, I took her up to a party room to feed her a little bit. The only blanket I brought with us that night was a plain white one from Aden & Anais. It glowed SO bright in the black light, and she laughed when I used it to cover her head while she was nursing! What a great trooper!

Have I mentioned that I LOVE gDiapers? They are the number one dipe in our stash. Because Gia has just moved up to the medium sizes, we are back at square one in building up our next size stash. All Things Diaper is having a giveaway for one little gPant and liner. You should go enter!

You know your daddy is a youth minister when you have your own baby-sized ear protection for Sunday night youth worship! We had our Fall kick-off of The X (our high school Sunday night program) and it was awesome! The band was incredible and Sean's preaching about John. When I walked into our youth area a couple of hours before it started, and I heard the band rehearsing, I knew we were going to be in trouble with little Gia... it was SUPER loud. Ok for me, but not for little baby ears. Especially since we have hearing loss in our family (more on that in a sec). So I was trying to figure out where I could take her that the music wouldn't be so loud, but one of our awesome youth sponsors had already thought of that! Dave got Gia and her little bestie, Ella these baby headphones for ear protection! How thoughtful! We are so blessed to be a part of a church family that not only loves my husband but also values his family. The youth ministry is also blessed with some incredible youth sponsors who invest so much love and time into these teens. So great! The quality of this pic is bad b/c its a cell phone picture, and we took it in pitch black with just the stage lights. Hopefully one of these weeks I will get a picture of Gia and her bestie in their matching ear gear! They were so cuh-yooooot!

So on to the hearing loss. We've known for a long time that Sean had some hearing loss. His mom was wearing hearing aids in her 30's, and Sean's grandma was deaf later in life. So we knew it was a genetic thing. Unfortunately, we don't have insurance and couldn't afford to have him go to an audiologist to get checked out. He has noticed it getting a lot worse in this past year, so we were just kind of unsure what to do about it. Lo and behold, another one of our great youth sponsors is in school for audiology and her mom is already an audiologist. She told Sean they would do a hearing screen for him! What a blessing and answer to prayer! So last week, he went and had his hearing checked which confirmed what we had suspected: he's hard of hearing- and its permanent, genetic and will get worse. But it was good for Sean to know that he's not just going crazy and that he really is losing his hearing. So the next step is to get hearing aids. They're pricey, of course (4-5 G's) so we'll be saving for them for a while, but its just good to have a place to start from in this process. And speaking of hearing aids, the technology has advanced SO MUCH in recent years... did you know you can sync your hearing aids with your Bluetooth? Crazy, right?!

So, all that to say several things: we love our church. God has brought awesome people into our lives. He always provides. we're thankful for that. its important to protect your baby's hearing. and to look cute while doing so. :)

Today was a busy day but we still managed to get our picture of the week in! Sean says he loves this picture because it shows exactly what she is doing this week-- grabbing her feet some more! Any chance she gets, she folds herself in half like a pretzel and grabs a foot. It so cute. Makes diaper changes a little tricky, but still cute. Do you recognize this fabric? Its from the robe I wore in the hospital when Gia was born. (I'm out of fabric right now and didn't have a chance to get to the store this week... so we made do!)

We are still working on incorporating more feedings during the night for Gia, but I am beginning to regret waking her at night. Since we've started doing that, she's been up a lot more. But, there's just no other time to get more feedings in for her, as she already eats every 2 hours during the day. I'm going to be able to weigh her this weekend on Saturday when I go to a breast feeding support group. So I'm hoping that brings good news of some weight gain! We also moved Gia up to the Medium sizes in our cloth gDiapers. The others were pinching and hurting her way too much to squeeze her into them any more. This week was Sean's birthday and it was such a joy to have Gia to celebrate it with us!

I can't watch the footage of 9/11.
I've tried.
I can't.
I want to. To remember. To never forget.
But I can't.

Because the truth is, I will never forget. I was not there that day. I was 1,245 miles away. Sitting in a World Geography class at Ozark Christian College. Dad Bare/Stand-in Prof. told us that something big was happening in New York. In between classes, I ran to my dorm and turned on the only TV set in the lobby. Watched the horror unfold. I called my mom. My roommate called her mom. I remember crazy, insignificant details of that day 10 years ago. Nothing in this world was ever the same again.

I was more than a thousand miles away from Ground Zero on that day. Unconnected, personally, to any person affected. But in the same moment, deeply connected to a nation that is forever affected and changed.

This year, the anniversary of September 11th is hitting me harder than it ever has before. I think it mostly has to do with my precious baby girl who is sleeping in the next room as I type. Sleeping. Silent. Sweet. (Oh, so sweet.) Innocent. And as I attempt to watch the footage of the day that changed our nation, I begin to imagine what the conversation will be like when Gia is old enough to understand. At least, old enough to try to understand. Because who can really understand such hate? I know there will be a day when she asks me the question, "Mommy, where were you when the plane hit the towers?"

As a little girl, I remember learning about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. I went home from school that day and asked my mom if she remembered where she was when that happened. She did. She remembered crazy, insignificant details of that day. It was a day that changed history.

When Gia asks me where I was, I will tell her. I'll probably even include the crazy, insignificant details that I pray even time will not erase. The answer to that question is easy. Objective. But what will I tell her when she asks the next question... "WHY?"

What will I tell my daughter? How do you break the bubble of innocence with an arrow of evil, while reassuring her that everything will still be alright? How do you respond to a question that has no reasonable answer? I remember the uncertainty I felt after 9/11. I remember the first time I flew after it. The heightened security, the nerves of fellow passengers. Life has never been the same.

I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm not trying to make 9/11 about me or my feelings. I completely understand that the emotions I feel leading up to this day are miniscule and insignificant compared to the feelings of those who were actually there. But I also know that the stirrings in my heart are not mine alone. Millions of Americans feel what I feel. Violated. Wronged. Connected. Vindicated. Strengthened. Helpful. Compassionate. Hopeful.

I know that some day, Sean and I will venture to the big City. We will visit Ground Zero. And we will cry. We'll stand at the edge of the waterfalls, seven stories deep, and the tears will flow. Gia will probably just hold our hands and ask us "Why?" Then we will stand before the bronze parapets where all the names of those who died are inscribed. And we will tell her. We will tell her that we visit this place to Remember. We read the names of strangers so that we will never forget. And we will tell her about the sacrifices of many, who have fought for our country. To secure the freedoms we take for granted. Speech. Worship. Work. And more. We will tell her that our tears of sadness mingle with tears of gratitude. And that there is no reason for WHY September 11, 2001 occurred. But that there is reason to remember the sacrifices and to be thankful for the country in which we live and the people who made it great.

I am going to try to start a monthly recap for Li'l G, kinda like I did with my weeks when I was pregnant with her. That way I can remember more of what she's doing! I may try to go back and do the first three months if I have time, or I may just start here. We'll see.


Length: 25 inches
Weight: 12 pounds 4.4 ounces
Clothing Size: just moved into 3-6 month sleepers b/c she's so long... she can still wear some 0-3 onesies, though the 0-3 pants are getting snug.
Fave Toy: She LOVES this guitar that came with her Sassy Rock N Roll Gym. This is one of my fave baby purchases, and she keeps pulling the guitar towards her to put in her mouth!
Fave Outfit: She looks so cute in her little polka dotted panda outfit. Unfortunately, we had a diaper leak that has stained it! I'm hoping some Oxy Clean will get it out!
New Moves: Using both hands simultaneously to pull things toward her mouth, and of course, rolling over still.
Teething: No teeth or teeth buds yet, but she is drooling buckets and chomping on anything that comes close to her face!
Eating: She is still exclusively breastfeeding. We need her to gain more weight this month so we are going to hold off on solids for a while longer. I've had to add a couple of feedings because she lost a little weight between doctor's visits.
Sleeping: Still sleeping like a champ at night!! She sleeps so hard, and I have to wake her up to eat! She isn't sleeping much during the day, though. If we are in the car, she will usually fall asleep.
Talking: She's been less talkative lately... I'm thinking this is because so much is going on with her physical development. But she is laughing a lot more! It's so much fun!!!
Fave Pic: Of course its hard to pick just one, but here's a cutie!

18 weeks! Gia had her 4 month appointment yesterday. It went ok, but she lost 1/2 an ounce. She's been sleeping 12 or 13 hours at night, so I think that is why she lost weight. We are going to start feeding her again after she's gone to bed, and waking up one time in the early morning to feed her again. Hopefully that will help her get back on the weight gain track. Since she's been sleeping so much at night, though, she is hardly sleeping at all during the day. Like, less than two hours collectively between her morning and afternoon nap. Not good. So, we're still working on all this. Sheesh, its not easy! Gia's been a bit less talkative this week, but she has been laughing a lot! its so cute! I love her giggles!

Here are just a few of the adorable outtakes that *almost* made the cut this week. She was so much fun & has so many expressions!!



You can click each picture to see it better.

Gia was so incredibly cute this morning when we were taking her pictures! I"m going to have to post some of the outtakes because it was just so hard to choose one! Gia has been so fun this week. She has been sleeping 10-12 hours at a time at night in her own crib. WHOA! I'm working on a bedtime post, but for now, I am so thankful that what we are doing is working. I'm well aware, however, that it could all change tonight! So for the time being, I'm thankful to be getting some rest. I still have to wake up super early to pump some milk, but that's just an added bonus that I am able to store up some milk in our freezer. Now if we could only get her to take a bottle... We tried earlier this week and it just did not work. Sean and I have both had a cold so we've not really felt great all week. I'm hoping and praying we're over it soon and that Gia doesn't get it! C'mon bre@stmilk-- pass those antibodies, right?! Gia is getting so strong, too. She has rolling over on her right side down to perfection and is working on a very efficient army crawl. Isn't is too early for that!? Several times when I've gone to get her out of her crib in the morning, she has completely spun around and is facing the opposite direction of how I put her down!