Sean & Shey: October 2008

Art

How do you know....

Monday, October 27, 2008

Friday Fave Foto

Great Idea.... but really overpriced!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

anorexia

At The Cross

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I heard this song on the radio this week, and have not stopped playing it over and over in my head... the song is "At the Cross" by Hillsong United. Here's the words:

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence

Surrounding me

In every season

I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me

There's no greater love than this

You have overcome the grave

Glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now

You go before me

You shield my way

Your hand upholds me

I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me

There's no greater love than this

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now?

You tore the veil

You made a way

When You said that it is done(x2)

And when the earth fades

Falls from my eyes

And You stand before me

I know You love me

Oh.. I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee

Where your blood was shed for me

There's no greater love than this

You have overcome the grave

Glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now?

You tore the veil

You made a way

When You said that it is done

I think that no matter how long (or short) you've been a Christian, some kind of image or experience comes to mind when we hear any reference to being 'at the cross' or 'at the foot of the cross.' For some people, they make think of watching The Passion Of the Christ movie. They make think of an easter play, or perhaps a time at summer camp where they nailed their sins, written on slips of paper, to a wooden cross. Some Ozark grads may recall one of Mark Moore's sermons or lectures on the subject. Its the moment in a Christian's life when they realize in their heart what they've know in their head all along... that what Christ did on the cross was for ME.

My first cross moment came in the summer/fall of 1997. I was in treatment for my eating disorder and had been at Remuda about 5 or 6 weeks. That was a time in my life where the rest of my world stood still, and I was forced to face the sin issues in my life... I was forced to look at the areas in my life where I was depending solely on myself and had been ignoring God. Talk about taking an inventory of one's life! (Step 4) That's all I was doing for 60 days! 60 days (and then some) of doing nothing but focusing on God's healing and really dealing with the root issues of where my sickness came from.

We had all kinds of therapy there... equine therapy, group therapy, body image therapy, family therapy, art therapy, recreational therapy... ANYTHING you could imagine! One week in art therapy, we were told to find a rock and bring it with us to the art room. We were to paint on this rock everything that weighed us down with our eating disorder... shame, guilt, pain, etc... So being the good trying-for-recovery-(ok, really at that time it was more like just-trying-to-go-home) patient that I was, I made my rock. When I was finished I set it up on a shelf, like we did with all our other products of art therapy, and didn't think much about it again.

Fast forward a bit to family week. What a breakthrough that week was! At the end of a very

difficult but productive week of therapy with my family, my therapist took me and a fellow patient, Rose, to this place on the ranch we hadn't been before.... It was kind of in the middle of some cacti, up a small hill, in dirt of course (this was the desert!)... and there was a cross. Jim (my therapist) handed Rose and I our rocks that we had made weeks before in art therapy. The rocks represented everything about us with our eating disorders. We talked, and cried, and prayed... and layed the rocks at the foot of the cross. As we turned to leave, exhausted, part of me wanted to pick up my rock and take it with me... it was pretty, afterall... I'd worked so hard on it. Much like the person I was in my ED... I'd worked so hard to be the best at being sick. I knew what life was like with me and ED. It was safe. I didn't want to leave it behind. I didn't want to let go. It was scary to think of a life where I no longer had my old ways to fall back on. But that's what recovery is. In a lot of ways, recovery is like repentance. Repentance means we turn from our old sinful ways and follow Him and only Him. Recovery, for me, has the very same definition... turning from my old habits and coping mechanisms and following HIM... living my life FOR Him and by Him.

The cross is what enables us to lay down our 'rocks'... all of the sins that weigh us down. His resurrection is what gives us strength to not pick the rocks, our old sinful habits, back up. I'll never forget my experience at the foot of the cross, on a dusty hill in the middle of the Arizona desert. It was the symbolic start of a new life.

Lately I've been thinking about that cross moment, and what it means to lay something down at the foot of the cross. I was thinking about some things I've been dealing with in my life lately... mostly my attitude. My attitude towards certain things, certain situations, and regrettably, certain people. I thought to myself "Wouldn't it be nice if I could just escape real life for 60 days and focus on nothing but my attitude?!" In the day to day rush of just living life, it can be so easy to ignore the sins in our lives that we come to live with. I know my silent feelings towards some things are not right, but in the craziness of working 8 to 6, maintaining a house, nurturing my marriage, and finding some time for fun, well... let's just face it. Its not really high on my list of priorities. I rationalize with myself that I'm not hurting anyone by harboring this bitterness... but that is so not true! I am! When I hold on to things that Christ has commanded me to get out of my life, I am missing opporunities, blessings, and joys that I don't even know I am missing. So although I may not be able to stop my life for 60 days to work through the sins in my life, I can stop for 60 minutes in a day- 60 seconds even!- and repent of my attitude. I can once again lay it down at the foot of the cross, repenting of my attitude, and walking on with a new way of thinking and with a renewed heart that comes only from Him.

Election '08

A lot on my mind...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A lot of people probably consider it improper, unpopular, impolite and very un-Emily Post to blog about the impending election... but its my blog, so I can say what I want right? Actually, there's not a lot that I feel like I should say at this point, because not much of it is very nice. After watching the final debates, I am more bewildered than ever at close friends who are still insistent upon voting for Obama. I wrote a note a while back about how "the greatness of a nation can be measured by how we treat our weakest memebers." If the unborn are not the 'weakest' memebers of a society, I don't know who is... and the stances that this future president has taken and no doubt will take in the future with his potential new power is disgusting. It turns my stomach. He sat in a senate hearing and heard Chicago nurse, Jill Stanak speak about her experience with late-term/partial birth abortions and still voted against the ban on this horrific procedure. I was blessed several years ago to hear and meet Jill in person. Her story is unlike any other. Anyone who can be in the same room with this woman, hear her testimony-- events that she has personally witnessed and been a part of-- and not be moved to positive action, as Mr. Obama apparently was not, is in my opinion one of two things: a- he is heartless or b- he is concerned only about himself. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a "hater"... I don't think the man is 'heartless.' I think if he were not in politics, he'd be a very decent person (maybe). But I do think he's out for his political gain, to further himself and his career, and that is all. I encourage you to check out Jill's website, read her story, look it up on YouTube, and consider all the implications of a man like this running our country. (And yes, I agree the "Why Jesus Would not Vote Obama" link on her website is a LITTLE much...) Yes, I understand this is a single issue, but its a big one. One that wether we want to admit it or not, will bleed into all areas of our society and policies. I have many more issues with this election as a whole, but all I know is that it turns my stomach. But, as my husband reminded me the other day, God wins in the end. So no matter how this turns out, I will vote in accordance with what I have sought to be true and right (even though in this state my vote really doesn't matter), and rest in the peace that God is ultimately in control. That doesn't mean things will be pretty or 'go my way'... and it may mean even greater obstacles for God's people to overcome. But it may also provide more opportunities for us as Christ's body to offer His healing to a hurting world in new ways. So... we shall see.......

On another note, California will vote on "Proposition 8" on election day. This is the ban against gay marriage that will protect 'traditional' marriage. Various religious organizations have been handing out these big hideous yellow signs that say "VOTE YES ON PROPOSITION 8." My first thought was, "let's get one for our yard." But then as quickly as I thought that, I thought about some people in my life whom I love very much, but have a very different opinion regarding homosexuality and gay rights. As quickly as I thought about this public display of political opinion, I thought about my neighbors who I don't know yet... by displaying such a sign in my yard would I be sabotaging any potential witness we may have in the future? I don't know the lifestyles of my neighbors, and they don't know mine... but if I displayed the yard sign, they would clearly and quickly make several assumptions about us: a- we're probably "christians" (in the not good way people assume you're a christian) and/or b- we're strict conservatives who don't care about people unlike us, and want nothing to do with those who have chosen a 'different' lifestyle. So, we obviously didn't get a sign for our yard. There were several other houses on our street who had the signs in their yard on our street anyways... if I was concerned about people knowing what Prop 8 was about, my neighbors had it covered. If you drive down our street, you'll know what Prop 8 is. Well, a few days ago Sean and I went home at lunchtime, and realized that ALL the Prop 8 signs had been stolen out of ALL the yards on our street! In that moment, I was so glad we had not put a sign in our yard... obviously someone felt differently about gay rights, and was offended enough to trespass on peoples' property and take the signs. Was it a neighbor on our street? Or just someone driving through? I don't know... but if the opportunity ever arises to befriend someone on our street who has a different lifestyle than us, I am thankful they won't have some skewed presupposition of us because of a sign in our yard. To be honest, the whole Prop 8 issue is something I've been wrestling with. Focus on the Family, Family Institute, and other Christian organizations have been promoting this like crazy out here in California... they run ads all the time on TV and radio. There's signs, rallies, literature and brochures everywhere. One thing that really bothers me about all of this is the way it is being presented... If I were a non-Christian living an alternative lifestyle, I would be so put-off by the churches and organizations promoting this proposition. I don't really have any answers here, I"m kinda just writing... I guess people need to know what Proposition 8 is all about- I had no idea what it was until Sean started getting involved. And its a good thing to be informed. But I'm just afraid we are alienating some really great friendship and Christ-sharing opportunities in the way that its being done.