So.... my daughter is 8 months old.  And I am just now posting her birth announcement.  Yeah, I'm a bit behind.  So, maybe its not an "announcement" so much as it is just a cute picture.  :)  I had a great time designing this, but never sent it out right after she was born.  So that's why I sent it out with my Christmas cards to family this year, and am just now sharing it with you!!  Hopefully with the next one, I will be a little bit more on the ball. It has a white outline around it, but against the white background it looks a little weird.  As I'm typing this, I feel like I've already posted this, but can't find it if I did... so sorry if its a repeat!!  Here are some more of the pictures from the "photoshoot" I did for this:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I am a worrier.  And sometimes, ok, more often than not, worrying can get the best of me.  Especially when it comes to Gianna.  Part of it is just my worry-wart nature, but another part, a very real part of it has to do with losing Whitney.

All parents hate it when their child gets sick.  No matter what the illness, the age of your baby or other circumstance, its no fun to see your baby ill- whether your baby is 6 months old or 16 years old.  But when Gia gets sick, my mind automatically goes to a place I have otherwise so desperately trained it not to go... That place where I begin to imagine what it would be like to lose her, too. 

A few months ago, Gia got really sick, really fast.  She just started throwing up and wouldn’t stop.  After talking to the doctor on-call, we took her to the ER.  Now, the rational part of me knows that babies get ill sometimes, and more than likely, she just needed to be re-hydrated and all would be fine.  After some x-rays, blood-work and observation, Gia was, indeed, just fine.  We were sent back home with a very tired baby who slept the rest of the night.  However, as we were driving out of the ER parking lot, Sean voiced what I had been thinking all along... What if we hadn’t left the hospital with our baby?  What if she wasn’t coming home with us?  We’d already left the hospital without one baby before; who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again? The reality of our lack of invincibility has long since set in.  We are not immune to life’s cruelty of untimely loss and pain.

I don’t think its normal for my mind to go to There when Gia gets sick.  Most normal parents do not jump from flu to funeral in an eye’s blink.  But I do.  When we lived in California, we had a giant Weeping Willow tree in our back yard.  I loved it... It brought tremendous shade to the side of our house and I loved how its long billowy branches reached forever up to the sky then bent back down to nearly kiss the grass beneath it.  Sean had a different take on it, though... He hated the thing.  He hated how it was all spindle-y and twisty and messy.  The leaves and twigs were broken off and scattered around our entire yard.  And that’s what its like when this seed of worry gets stuck in my head-- in no time, it has become a big, ugly weeping willow that has entwined its sinewy branches into every thought that crosses my mind. 

Yesterday, I lost an earring.  Just a rhinestone stud, but I didn’t realize it until much later in the day.  I found the back to the earring on the kitchen floor, and immediately, I began to panic about where the earring itself was.  I think I lost it when I took my hoodie sweatshirt off earlier in the day... And I remember I was standing... In the living room... Right in the middle... Of... Gia’s play area.  And then I remember... A few hours ago, Gia looked like she was putting something in her mouth.  She’s always doing that these days.  Working on developing that pincer grip.  This girl could put a lobster to shame-- she always finds the teeny tiniest things to pick up and put in her mouth.  Much of the time, she hasn’t even picked anything up... Just practicing the imaginary motion of pinch-to-mouth.  Anyways, so I see her doing this and immediately pick her up to see if there’s anything in her mouth.  She fights me as I pry open her jaws... I do the “scoop” with my finger in her mouth, but I don’t see or feel anything.  She wasn’t choking or wheezing or gagging or anything like that.  So I forget about the whole incident.  UNTIL... I realized I had lost my earring. 

Later that night her fever started and she got increasingly fussy.  She has a stuffy nose and is teething, so the rational part of me knows that her discomfort is most likely due to that, rather than a possibly swallowed earring.  But I can’t help but wonder...

I took Gia to the doctor today, and everything seemed fine.  Ears clear?  Check.  Throat?  Check.  Lungs?  Check.  Hmmmm.  We got to talking about Gia’s sleeping and eating and I forgot to mention the earring I lost, which Gia possibly ate.  So here we are, a day and a half later, and I am obsessing about it.  Gia’s woken up a couple of times tonight in obvious pain.  Again, most likely from teething and the fact that she sounds like a hungry pig when she breathes.  But I still find myself Googling “how long does it take for swallowed object to pass”.  And even though I read on the website of my favorite baby doctor that most small objects are easily passed in 3-5 days (he’s even seen an open safety pin pass through a baby without problems!) and not cause for major concern, I’m still freaked out.  I get back on my hands and knees and check the carpet for the 5th time (this hour).  I take the couch cushions off (again).  I turn the hoodie I was wearing inside then out, inside then out.  Still no earring.  Still worrying.  What if it rips a hole in her entire body, and I forever have to live with that?  My mind goes There again, and by this time is almost completely lost There. 

But in a brief moment, something from Here entices me back, stills my mind.  I remember some verses I had compiled in an email for a friend when we were both pregnant with our Rainbow babies.  “Worry Verses” I had titled it. I search my GMail for “worry” and thankfully, the document I so desperately need pops up.  And then, like an ice cold sweet tea in the middle of a Carolina summer, my eyes drink in these words as my spirit slowly soaks them up:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

I want to know more about the word “worry” or “anxious”... Being an Ozark alum, I’m a geek for a good word study.  Aren’t we all?  What, no?  I’m the only one?  Ok, well then hang with me for a few turns, because I promise its really cool.  The word used for worries (or in the NIV, ‘be anxious about’) comes from the Greek word merimnao (Strong’s 3309).  Essentially, the word means a part, as opposed to a whole.  It means to be drawn in opposite directions, pulled apart, scattered.  Doesn’t that make sense?  When I worry about something, my mind usually goes in a million different directions.  All the worst-case scenarios are zipping through my imagination at light-speed.  I feel frazzled in my worry, scattered in my anxiety.  Ok, put that in your back pocket for  a minute.

Next, I looked up the word “supplication”, or petitions.  It basically means a heart-felt request, arising out of a deep personal need.  The original root of the word implies a felt need that is personal and urgent.  Yes, yes that’s it!  Oh, Lord!  Hear my petition... I am lacking faith and allowing fear to take hold... Please, come quickly Father and quiet my racing mind!

Finally, I read on to verse 7 in Philippians... “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  What is this peace of which the writer speaks?  Back to the concordance... Peace.  (Strong’s 1515) eirḗnē ... (doesn’t this word look a lot like ‘serenity’?)... from eirō, "to join, tie together into a whole") – properly, wholeness, i.e. when all essential parts are joined together; peace (God's gift of wholeness).  Oh, yes.  That is peace.  Wholeness.  God’s gift of wholeness.  When worry has scattered my heart and mind into a million pieces, whisking me There at warp speed, God’s unifying peace brings it all back together to one central place- his sheltering wings.  His protective arms.  His loving side.  Whatever you call it, peace is with Him... when all essential parts (me + Him) are joined together.  God’s gift of wholeness.  So tonight, as I’ve just gotten up to calm a crying babe for the 4th time since I put her to bed a few hours ago, I forego worry, and instead let my petitions and praises turn my worry into prayers so that I can rest in God’s eirḗnē.

6 Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.7 Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.  (The Message)

I finally finished my Egypt Scrapbook using the online program MixBook.  I had a Groupon that was $15 for $50 worth of product, which is why I chose to use MixBook in the first place.  Overall, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this program.  I think I would choose it any day over another program like Shutterfly or one of those.  MixBook has a TON of customization choices, which is why I really like it.  I'm kind of old school when it comes to scrapbooking, in that I typically prefer the original kind, with actual photos and stickers and stuff.  But for a project this big, going digital was definitely the best choice.  MixBook is the closest thing to a "real" scrapbook that I've seen yet... you can choose all different kinds of 'papers' for backgrounds, add stickers and other cute embellishments.  So here's how my book turned out:
 Here's the front, its hardcover and glossy.  So pretty! 
 Here's a shot with my Blackberry to give you an idea of the size... I designed this thing as an 8x8 but at the last minute, decided to order it in 12x12... I am so glad I did!  The big size makes it all the more fun!
 Here's a look at some of the inside pages.  The pages are pretty & glossy, and the colors of stunning!
I think there are 40 or 50 pages in this book, but its still thin!  Here you can see the spine and how thick it is. 

I am totally sold on MixBook!  And just in case you're wondering, this is not a paid or "perked" review... just giving you my honest opinion.  I keep looking for more MixBook Groupons... so if you see one pop up in your city, PLEASE let me know!!  I want to make a book of my pregnancy for Gia!  So... what about you guys?  Have you used digital scrapbooking?

I made this wreath a few days ago, inspired by- what else?- Pinterest!  It was super easy, but it just took a little time.  Actually, the only part that took a chunk of time was wrapping the wreath with grey yarn.  That took more than an hour!  But cutting the felt, and doing the criss-cross argyle pattern only took another hour or less!  I love it for Valentine's Day, but made sure to use the colors of Gia's bedroom so that it can go on her door the rest of the year!

Whoa, 36 weeks! You'd never guess by this spring-like picture that our high here today was actually 16 degrees, and there was snow falling all day long!  Not a whole lot has happened this week with Miss G, development-wise.  She is still pulling up on everything, crawling all over the place, and getting steadier on her feet every day.  She is drooling buckets again, but still no new teeth poking through.  We had one night of 8 hours sleep this past week, but that was all.  Hoping for a couple more nights like that this next week... though I'm not holding my breath!  Gia has gotten a lot better this week at letting other people hold her, though.  Its like all of a sudden, she's decided that these people are ok!  It still depends greatly on her mood and time of day, but for the most part, she is getting more comfortable with letting our friends hold her.  On Sunday, I even left her sitting between our two friends, Jess and Brian.  I went to Subway and back, and even had time to eat before she started getting antsy for me!  Woo hoo, baby! This week's fabric is actually the daybed cover I had in my room when I was younger!

I know its been a long time since I've updated Whitney's blog.  There are several reasons for that... the easiest reason is that we haven't paid to renew it yet so we've been "locked out" of adding new posts.  We started her blog in TypePad, which is great in that it allows us to do most of what we want to do (pages, photos, comments, etc) but the downside is that it costs $150/year.  We're going to go ahead and renew it with TypePad this year, but in the mean time I am hoping to move all that content to a WordPress or Blogger format {i.e. FREE}.  Anyone have tips on that?  I really don't want to lose any of our posts, as I know people go back and read them.  I also don't want to lose any of the comments.  Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

The other reason I haven't written is that I just haven't been in the mindframe to write about her lately.  Everything feels cluttered and crazy, lately.  Its good, and I am by no means complaining... I know that any of the "problems" I think I have are truly insignificant, westernworld, cupcake problems.  I just haven't been able to sit and really think about what to write.  I have thoughts that run through my head about Whitney all day long.  But by the time I get 5 minutes to sit and write it out, I've forgotten.  But I'd really like to get better at writing on Whit's blog.

Finally, we have less than a month until Whitney's 2nd birthday.  That in itself is pure craziness.  It seems like a lifetime ago, and just yesterday all at once.  I am planning to do another RAOK (Random Act of Kindness) day to celebrate the gift of her life.  I'll have more details on that soon (I hope!).  So I hope you guys will plan on joining us in remembering Whitney on her birthday by doing a Random Act of Kindness on February 11th!  In the meantime, you can check out all of last year's RAOK Day celebrations here. 

And just because I love her so much and am thinking about her a lot right now... a precious picture. 

Alright, so both my SIL's did this on their blogs... why not?  I'll finish this then 2011 is DONEZO! For reals. 

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Gave birth, breastfed a baby almost 24/7, moved across the country... oh wait, I've done that before.  Ok, moved across the country at 30 weeks pregnant on a red-eye flight with two cats in tow.  Never done that before.
2.  Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any last year.  And I didn't make any formal resolutions this year, but I'm committed to living in the moment and worshiping God with every action.
3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?
Do I count?  Yes!  And a lot of my friends did, too.  I really want to be in the room someday with someone who gives birth (other than myself).  I think that would be so cool!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, Sean's grandfather passed away in december after battling pancreatic cancer.
5. What countries did you visit?
Sadly, none.  womp womp.  I was knocked up half the year, and kissing G's face the other half!
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A forgiving heart.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
may 5th – gianna was born
June 17th- When we visited our new church for the first time
July 9- Turning the big 3-0
8. What’s your biggest achievement of the year?
Having Gia!  It was a long tough labor.  I'll spare you the details, but it was quite an accomplishment.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I honestly don't feel like I had one.  Sure, I've fallen short in areas, but I wouldn't say anything was a failure.  I'm pretty damn proud of the way I handled myself this past year, given all that's happened. 
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not major.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Not sure....
12. Where did most of your money go?
Hands down to a jacked up moving coming that scammed us out of more than $10K.  Jerks.

13. qhat did you get really excited about?
the g baby of course! moving! Fall! snow! Friends!
14. what song will always remind you of 2011?
Not sure... probably Gia's silly baby music

15. Compared to this time last year, are you?
-happier or sadder? much happier.
-thinner or fatter? definitely thinner... I was preggo!
-richer or poorer? definitely poorer, but better off
16. what do you wish you’d done more of?
Eating sushi in CA
17. what do you wish you’d done less of?
hating mean people who don't matter.  and worrying.  It always turns out ok.
18. how did you spend christmas?
with my family the best way to spend it.
19. what was your favorite TV program?
oh there are so many.. but probably Up All Night is one of them.
20. what were your favorite books of the year?
Hunger Games!  And The Help
21. what was your favorite music from this year?
I've missed out on a lot of music this year.  Not sure.
22. what were you favorite films of the year?
Didn't get to the movies much....
23. what did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I turned 30 and went to Joe's of course!
24. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not much.  At least not much that was nice.... seeing some justice or karma or vengeance happen to the meanies in my life, but see, that's not nice. 
25. how would you describe your personal fashion concepts of 2011?
Preggo and new mom.

26.  what kept you sane?
my husband.  we were together every day for 4 months and it was exactly what I needed. 
27. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
It all turns out ok.

There is an excellent blog post circling the interwebs lately. It's titled "Dont Carpe Diem." Have you read it yet? If not, go read it now, them jump back to finish this.
I love the way she writes about the difference between chronos time and kairos time. Kairos time is God's time... those moments in the day when I notice the beauty in Gianna's eyelashes, or the times when I walk into a room and see my husband making silly faces at our baby. Moments that are gifts from God, apart from the ordinary, worthy of all my thanks and praise to be raised to God for blessing me with them. They make the poopy diapers, spit-up, laundry and every other mundane chore worth it.
Instead of doing a 365 project, I mentioned that I wanted to find some other way to capture precious moments this next year. Well, I've decided to call it "Kairos Captured." I want to capture the Kairos moments of our day to day life. Again, maybe not very interesting to many, but priceless and precious to my heart.
I did a little word study on "kairos"... one researcher writes that kairos 'a time in between [sequential or chronological time], a moment of indeterminate time in which something special happens. What the special something is depends on who is using the word. While chronos is quantitative, kairos has a qualitative nature.' So, that's what these moments I hope to capture will be... something special happening, as defined by me. I hope you enjoy them!  I"ll get the first one up later today hopefully.  I am not going to set a certain day or amount of times I have to post these... I'll just do them as the moments arise.  I'd love for you guys to join me in this project, too!

Feel free to use this button on your blog if you want to join in on the project, too!