I've tried looking back at the past couple of years on NYE for posts I've written, but I didn't write one! Crazy! I like having this blog to look at the years' past, but have not been so good at keeping it up lately. I still want to write a review of 2011, as it was a big year for us, but that will come when/if I ever get more than 10 minutes to sit and think in quiet! Its been a bit hectic around here lately! With the start of a new year, I've contemplated doing the 365 project again... I really enjoyed it when I started it in 2010, and did so well for more than 265 days... more than half way there! Then I got pregnant and fell off the face of the earth and stopped doing the pictures! I was so disappointed, and still am, that I didn't finish that! I'm also extremely overwhelmed right now with just a million little things, so I decided not to do the 365 project this year. I want to be sure to finish out Gia's weekly photos and not fizzle out on that. We're over half way there and I really want to complete that. So maybe NEXT year I will do the 365 again. But, one thing I do want to do is get better at documenting my day to day life with Gia. It probably won't be exciting to anyone but me and Gia (and maybe Nana!), but I'm going to try to document the sweet moments I don't want to forget. She is growing up so fast. Being a stay at home mom is not quite as fast-paced or exciting as my life was when I was working with the Mobile Clinic in Fresno. I don't meet new and interesting people every day, or deal with life and death, spiritual and mortal issues regularly. But I am taking on a new critical role, one of raising and training a child who has been entrusted to me & Sean by God. So while changing diapers and shushing a crying baby may get tiring and not seem like much in the moment, when I step back and look at what I have been given to do, I am in awe.

I had an "aha" moment the other night as I was swaying with Gia, singing her to sleep. I was tired of the usual line up of songs I typically sing to her each night, so I was searching my church camp catalogues in my mind. The song, "Heart of Worship" came to me and as I began singing, the words choked in my throat as tears filled my eyes....

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come...

Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring you more than a song For a song in itself Is not what you have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And its all about you, Its all about you,
Jesus....

More than a song... more than a song... I couldn't even sing the words as I realized that at that very moment, my act of worship was loving my daughter, and comforting her with all His love I could muster, despite my fatigue. Using my hands and arms to feel and know the presence and everlasting, unconditional love of our Heavenly Father. So this year, for starters, I want to worship more in my day to day life. I may not be able to chart the life-changes in a fancy report, but I can subtly and lovingly shape the heart of my daughter into one that will hopefully grow to love and serve God. I guess you could call that a "resolution" but we all know that those things only last until about March... and this is so much more than that.