Feeling a bit like life is unfair lately.  I know, cry me a river.  I realize the stupidity in these pinings.... I just can't stand it when people cheat and get away with it, when people cut corners, reason away morality, and are just plain weasels.  I don't like weasels.   That said, I came across this quote:

So here's a little update on my Spring Cleaning List.... I'm actually quite impressed!  

I love a lot of things.  But two things in particular that I am talking about now are Angelina Jolie and Patricia Cornwell novels.  In fact, just last night I went to the library with my husband and picked up one of Cornwell's books that I hadn't read in a long time.  In case you are not familiar with these books, they are mystery/suspense novels about a female Chief Medical Examiner in Viriginia, Kay Scarpetta who solves crimes and does forensic stuff like that.

I'm now positive that I love my Google Reader.  I have the little thing in my side bar that shows some of the blogs I follow that have recently been updated, but that's not enough.  You might not understand just how many blogs I follow.  A lot.  Its almost embarrassing.  In fact, my husband makes fun of me for it.  But, I am a multi-tasker.  I do'nt like to just sit and watch TV, i have to be doing something else too.  So when the laundry is folded and the dishes are put away, that's my free time to catch up on my reading!  

So I have just discovered Google Reader.... I'm not quite sure of exactly how it works, but I'm trying to figure it out.  See, I have dozens of blogs that I LOVE to read every day, and I have them all bookmarked in a folder at the top of my navbar on my computer.  That's great, but quite a pain when I want to read all the updates because I don't know which blog has been updated or which one has had the same last post since two weeks ago. So I waste a TON of time clicking on to each blog, etc.  I *think* Google reader will show me all the blogs I have "subscribed" to as they update.  If anyone knows how this really works, please share your knowledge!  :-)

My poor hubby is sick tonight. I hate when he's sick and there is nothing I can do to make him feel better. And I'm really not good with the whole puke thing, but I think I have gotten a little bit better through the years. Pray that he feels better fast!

This week is supposed to be super hot... starting today. Sheesh, I am not ready for summer! I was spoiled by the nice weather we've been having and I almost forgot how hot it gets here... until today. Add another 15 degrees and you'll have our summers. *whew!*

We had a great weekend... there was a missions conference at Northwest church called The Harvest Gathering. It started Friday afternoon and I missed the first session because I had to work, but heard it was awesome. The guy who spoke, Pastor Wally has an amazing testimony. Here's a little excerpt about his story:

Pastor Wally had one of the largest underground churches in Saudi Arabia and became the number one, most wanted man in the country. He was eventually arrested in Saudi Arabia and imprisoned. He was tagged as public enemy number one because of his faith and for his sincere desire to serve the Lord Jesus Christ. He was put in prison by the religious authorities in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia on October 14, 1992, and was severely tortured. For his crime, the high court of Saudi Arabia sentenced him to death by public hanging on December 25, 1992.

But God moved His hands to spare him from the death penalty by using his wife and daughter, and Christians, human rights organizations and some politically influential people from all over the world to protest his death sentence and appeal for his freedom to the Monarchy of Saudi Arabia.

He was released the night before the scheduled date of execution and celebrated Christmas Eve on board an aircraft that flew him to freedom.

We went to an excellent elective class on HIV/AIDs, put on by a couple of World Vision Staff.  I can't even begin to say all my thoughts about the matter at this time, but I do know that we, as a church, are ignoring the greatest humanitarian crisis of ALL time.  In fact, just like the guy from World Vision said, you'd have to go back to the time of Noah to find number of casualties as astronomical as the AIDs epidemic.  In this seminar, the guy speaking said there were two prayers he prays every day... "Lord, let my heart be broken by the things that break your heart" and the second: "Lord, deliver me from the trivial, and help me to focus on the eternal."  Wow... what prayers to pray.

On whether or not I like the new layout. What do you think? I thought it would be easier to read, but it seems smaller... what do you thinK?

I suppose I post pictures of my pantry to avoid the soul-searching that a good blog intrinsically implies (and deserves). I just can't seem to put "right now" into words these days. But today, I was reminded over and over again that God is so faithful and I am so.... not. I got an email from my soon-to-be sister-in-law today, and she linked me to a blog post that made her think of me. Let me just say, it was like I was writing it myself. It was exactly what I needed to hear. So thanks, Anne. :-)

I would normally just post a link to the article and hope that you would read it, but I know that statistically, 85% of you are likely to click on to another blog or webpage, rather than click the link to the article. So, I'm going to paste it below. Its kinda lengthy, but SO good. There's even a treat at the end, if you get through it all. :-)

Losing Yourself in a Move
by Susan Arico November 7, 2008
Almost everyone I know loathes moving—the packing, hauling, unpacking, and inability to find anything for days. It’s no fun. Still, moving is part of virtually all of our lives. More than 40 million Americans move each year, and about a quarter of these undertake a significant, out-of-state move.

My father was a businessman employed by an international company, so when I was a girl my family made overseas moves every few years. “When you’re new to a country and don’t speak the language well,” my father said, “you lose your personality. Your humor, intellect, interests—you can’t communicate any of them.” I experienced this firsthand during a college summer spent in Germany and found it one of the most frustrating parts of being a foreigner.

Having just moved my own family across the country, however, I’m seeing that the loss-of-self experience doesn’t only apply to foreign moves and language barriers. It’s part of the process of being transplanted. I’m used to the people in my day-to-day life knowing me—my personality, views, character. But suddenly they’re all are invisible to those around me. Of course they emerge as I form new relationships, but it’s a plodding process that requires time. And the months of establishing community and a life can be lonely and draining.

You don’t have to read far into the Bible to see that it’s chock full of relocation accounts. By chapter 12 of Genesis, Adam and Eve are evicted from Eden; Noah and co sail the globe; and Abraham leaves his homeland. “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household, and go to the land I will show you,” God tells Abraham in Gen 12:1. If it sounds dramatic, it is. To moving is to close the door on your whole life, and then open it onto a completely different life somewhere else. It’s one of the more intense human experiences.

God’s command to Abraham posed two questions. One—would Abraham actually leave his homeland and go? And two—if he did, how would he make it in the new land? Would he trust God to plug him into the right place in his new life, or would he rely on himself?

Trusting in God post-move, I’m finding, requires intentionality and discipline. The lack of relationships that initially marks one’s life after a move can feel stark and unsettling, especially for a work-at-home mother like me with a home-based life. In the absence of the connections and commitments that filled my pre-move days, I note a tendency to fill the vacuum with other things—usually the web. The interactive feel of blogs, Facebook, and other online forums offer me temporary solace and a sense of community –if only a 2-D version. But my online activities can easily balloon and become a crutch or even mini-addiction, especially on days when “live” community-building feels slow-going.

Now I’m all for technology and am not out to disparage the value of virtual connection or involvement. But the question is, am I running to this to avoid discouragement or loneliness? Am I seeking comfort in Facebook instead of God? When I do, it backfires and leaves me lonelier. I’ll never find satisfaction in any effort to distract myself from something God’s trying to do in me.

Because the Bible teaches that a big takeaway we’re supposed to get out of moving is increased reliance on God. Relocation makes us feel untethered, out-of-place, not-yet-known—and consequently uncomfortable—because it’s supposed to. God uses these feelings to reveal to us our dependence on him and drive us into his arms—our true home, where we’re never out of place and are always fully known. And as we seek God and wait on him in the midst of our newbie struggles, he meets us there and shows himself faithful to bring us life in the new land.
Abraham and other Old Testament heroes are called “aliens and strangers on earth” by the writer of Hebrews (11:13). Their moving experiences prompted dependence on God to the point where they saw him as was their home… And more, they saw that their short-lived residence on earth was nothing compared to the “better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared (for them) a city” (v. 16).

So I pray for grace to emulate Abraham and seek God as he did, seeing my earthly residence through a heaven-focused lens that empowers me to hold it lightly.

Susan Arico has run her own consulting company, Pray Creek Consulting, LLC., since 2004.
She lives with her husband and toddler son and daughter in southern California,
where they recently relocated from New England.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira
on November 7, 2008

Ok, so now for a little treat....

We have been busy busy bees around our house lately!  Remember that not so little Spring Cleaning to do list?  Well I checked a couple more things off that list.  Most importantly, I got my winter clothes switched out for my summer clothes.  This may not seem like much to some of you, but I have a TON of clothes.  And I'm not good at getting rid of anything.  So my goal was to only keep 12 of the 40 sweaters that I had in my closet this winter. Afterall, this is California!!  Who really needs 40 sweaters in the Central Valley?  I was feeling so proud of myself for sticking to my number 12... I had my favorites folded and put away nicely in their huge plastic tub and the other 28 stuffed into a white trash bag for our garage sale next month.  But then...... I forgot the sweaters that I had hanging up.  You see, the 40 I whittled down to 12 only included the folded sweaters on my shelf.... not the additional 15 or so I had hanging up.  Oh well.... so I am keeping a few more than 12 sweaters for next Winter.  At least its not like I'm keeping all 50~!  Then I hung up all my summer clothes (tank tops! capris! shorts! bright colors! fun clothes! summer dresses!) and categorized them accordingly.  (I'm somewhat compulsive about this.... I'll have to take a picture some day.... but I organize my closet by style (tank top, short sleeve, t-shirts, nice blouses, long sleeve, jackets) first, then organize each style section by color (Roy G. Biv!).  I know it sounds crazy but I love walking into my closet when it is clean and I know where everything is!

Prayer is a tricky thing because I think no one has really taught us how to really do it. Growing up we were taught different methods of prayer and encouraged to try them out and find one that works best for me, but something was always missing. Having been a Youth Minister I can recall pleading with my students to just spend minutes a day talking with God, and now I feel that I have let them down because I did not teach them enough. If you ask someone on the street what prayer is they would probably respond with something like, “talking to God,” and we would all say, “yes, that is what prayer is all about!” No one would argue with that definition because it is exactly what we have been taught since we were little. Can I tell you that something is missing?

Prayer in a simple definition is “having a conversation with God.” If we were to pick apart that definition we would come to the quick realization that in order to have a conversation you must talk but also listen. Now, we know that in our prayer times we must listen to God, but if we were honest how often do we really take time to listen. I can confess for my brain that sometimes it is downright difficult to focus any amount of time to listening to someone I cannot hear. I put the blame on my society (pretty easy fix isn’t it). I blame my XBOX, my Zune, all of the books I love to read, and I blame my cats. Everywhere around me and around you, we are drawn away from being alone in silence to listen to God.

I love the story of Elijah found in the book of 1 Kings. The guy had an experience that every preacher wants to have, he called down fire from heaven and his critics were silenced and then he had them killed. OK, modern day preachers probably don’t want their critics slaughtered, but it creates a pretty cool scene. After all of this happened on Mount Carmel, any angry woman by the name of Jezebel (by the way, please for the sake of your children don’t name your daughter Jezebel) sent Elijah a message stating that she wanted him dead. So Elijah after having an amazing mountain-top experience ran away and feared for his life. We then find Elijah feeling sorry for himself when God spoke to him. Elijah, feeling that world is coming down all around him is in desperate need. What does God do? He tells Elijah to go and feel the presence of the Lord pass him by. We all know the story, that God is not found in the powerful wind, or the violent earthquake, or the blazing fire, but it is after all of those major events that God is found in a gentle whisper.

We are constantly surrounded by the wind, earthquakes and fire. In fact, we as Christian leaders try our best to create those elements in our worship services to draw people closer to God. We give people event after event, program after program knowing that in those meaningful things God’s presence will be felt. Have we not fallen short of bringing glory to God by constantly filling our calendars with wind and earthquakes when God wants us to simply listen in the silence to His voice? I love this quote and feel that it speaks directly to our society today, “We are so concerned with being useful, effective and in control that a useless, ineffective, and uncontrollable moment scares us and drives us right back to the security of having something valuable to do. But even stronger than our fear of the empty space is our fear of actually hearing the voice of God.” How true is this? I know it to be true of my life. Do I want God to show me his plan for my life today? Heck no, because it could involve something difficult or out of my comfort zone. Even worse God could convict me of sin in my life and then I might actually have to mature and grow.

Sometimes it is downright frightening to see the kind of man God might want me to be. Sometimes I look at the life of the Apostle Paul and think that was a good life for him, not sure if I really want to go down that road. I am not sure if I want to be so close to Christ that my life becomes endangered. All of those thoughts are foolishness and it needs to be my desire to follow Christ with all of my life. All of this means that I need to start spending time listening to God and what He is saying to me. Can we all commit to this? What would God do through our churches if the leaders and people spent time listening to Him? How many more missionaries would be sent out to the ends of the earth? How many more students would commit their lives to serving Him? How many churches would quit wasting time on meaningless tasks and focus on what would last forever?

Do you know what God wants to say to you?

Easter Services at church were great!  I went Saturday night and it was an awesome celebration of our redeemer's resurrection!

I picked up this book tonight on a trip to Barnes and Noble with my honey.  As I was sipping my cappuccino in the cafe area and reading the introduction, I knew immediateley it was a keeper.... and a life changer.  

Rwanda looms as a vastly uncharted case study in forgiveness. Why are survivors who lost entire families willing to forgive and befriend those who destroyed their lives? Why are once-militant and murderous Hutus now repenting of their crimes? These questions beckon the humble to explore the pain, the mystery, and the heartbreaking beauty of the process. 

...

Though the global community is shrinking through technology and travel, it is not erasing the prejudices and the ideological tensions that have divided peoples for centuries.

...

Could there be a common roadmap to reconciliation? Could there be a shared future after unthinkable evil? If forgiveness is possible after the slaughter of nearly a million in 100 days in Rwanda, then, today more than ever, we owe it to humanity to explore how one country is addressing perceptual, social-psychological, and spiritual dimensions to achieve a more lasting peace. If forgiveness is possible after genocide, then perhaps there is hope for the comparably smaller rifts that plague our relationships, our communities, and our nation. These stories of Rwandan reconciliation provide a roadmap not just for national healing, but for healing on a personal level as we learn what it means to forgive and be forgiven.

I am excited to read this book to learn more about what happened, and to read about the amazng work that God is doing in that country through forgiveness.  And since this is Good Friday, I am also reminded of the amazing forgiveness that this day signifies for all believers.... its not a day of a million casualties, but it marks the brutal death of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.  And with that death, he took on the sin of all nations, all peoples.... you... and me.  And ultimately, it is because of his forgiveness, and his death on the cross that we have hope in him!  It is Friday.... but Sunday is coming.  The victory is won!  

As I sit here drinking Diet Pepsi, listening to Rich Mullins, and enjoying an overcast day I figured I can't go wrong writing in the blog that I created that my wonderful wife has taken over. Sometimes I simply wonder is there anyone out there like me? Not that I am something special that people should strive to become me (unless you want to eat enough Taco Bell to gain 60 pounds, and let me tell you the promise is a lie) but I wonder does anyone else feel plagued by questions that never seem to be answered. I wonder what the world would be like if each Christian looked into their own heart and asked the tough questions that God is asking us each day. Questions really do haunt people every day. I hate questions right now because spiritually I am not at a place where I can truly distinguish where the questions come from. Do these questions come from my own sinful nature, or is it the Holy Spirit prompting me to action. Questions are so essential to our lives.

People become so wrapped around trying to answer the questions of life, marriage, betrayal, pain, fear, shame, addictions, and so many more without first seeking out what questions God might be asking. I can tell you that I am so guilty of this, of becoming so worried and entangled by my own web of questions that I have to answer for my own life that I am probably missing out on a greater direction from above that God wants to give me.

One of my favorite authors is Henri Nouwen, and he writes about how our lives are not a series of complex problems that need to be solved, but that life is a journey to be taken with Jesus as our friend and guide. Another questions spawns from this thought, what would the Church look like if we all followed Jesus with our whole lives. This question may seem silly to most because most would believe that their lives are being led by Jesus. Silly right? Then why is divorce so high in the Church? Why are there organizations for the homeless, because I find it pretty clear in the Scriptures that God wants His children to look after the homeless? Why are Christians hell bent on killing "those terrorists" as opposed to sending missionaries to show them the true way of God through His son Jesus? By our fruit the world will know who we are, and I am affraid that going down to Michaels and buying the fake stuff and hanging it up is no longer cutting it.

Today I will sit in silence and let Jesus guide me and allow the Holy Spirit to probe me with questions that God has for me. This is difficult because we must open ourselves up to the pain that we have experienced in our lives. We must be humble enough to hear the question that God might ask that will change our lives forever.

Spring always gives me the cleaning bug. There's so much that I want to do, I need a grown-up person spring break to do it all!! (I wish we got spring break in the real world! Summer and holidays always make me want to be a teacher....) But, slowly but surely, I am working away at my list. It may be next Spring before I get it all done, but we'll see! Here's a peek at my list:

Get/Hang Curtains for Master Bedroom (see pics below!)
Clean Out Junk Drawers:
Kitchen
Dresser in Master
Bedsides in Master
Bathroom
Hallway Desk
Wipe Down Kitchen Cabinets
Re-Organize Pantry
Thin Out Closet
Organize/Clean Office
Hang Pictures in Office
Paint Fireplace Mantel
Dust Bookshelves in Dining Room
Get Together Garage Sale Stuff

Its amazing how much cleanliness makes me happy. We've done pretty good at keeping the main living areas of our house really neat and tidy the past few weeks, and it just makes the few hours I have awake at home in the evenings so enjoyable!!

So here's some pics of the curtains/window mis-treatment I did for our bedroom... it cost a little more that I was hoping, but I did a lot of bargain shopping and got good prices on most everything. I couldn't find ready-made curtains that I liked or that matched our comforter... they were all way too short. (We have HUGELY tall ceilings throughout our house!) But, while I was at Tuesday Morning looking around, I found a table cloth was both the perfect color and long/wide enough! So, when I got it home and hung the curtain rod and sconces, I hung the table cloth then cut it in half. Then I sewed a hem on the rough edges and voila! I still need to work with the red swag fabric at the top, but all in all I am pretty pleased. For more on my mis-treatment inspirations, check out these great ideas at The Nester's blog (one of my FAVE daily reads!!!)!

I am so excited to share that I will soon have another sister-in-law!  My brother-in-law, Kyle proposed to his super sweet girlfriend, Anne!!  I just love her/them and cannot wait to raise our babies together and go shopping after Thanksgiving while the boys watch Football and comiserate during the tense times of those crucial sports games!  And, well, no one else knows what its like to be married to a Wilson boy.  So I'll be glad to have someone else who understands.  :-)  Here's a photo of the adorable couple!  (Please, look past the blue and yellow...they really are good people!)

I'm excited about something!!!!