The Desert Song

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

For Christmas, I got Sean a couple of books by his favorite author, John Piper. Sean has about 10 books in his reading queue, so I started reading one that of the books I gave him. It is called Spectacular Sins (and their gloabl purpose in the glory of Christ). In true Piper fashion, it has taken me two days just to process the introduction! This is no weak sauce, folks. But I think this book is going to be right up my alley.

All along, I have known and proclaimed that God is still God. God was the same good God on July 31 (the day I found out I was pregnant) as he was on December 31 (the day we got new it was Triploidy). In the past, Sean and I have been personally hurt by the sinful choices of men around us, but have held to the truth that God is ultimately in control. In the sins of other people, though we may be affected, it is easy to know that God is still God.

But when something like this happens, and there is seemingly no one to blame, what then? Do you just consider the pain is a result of sin in general? Or do you blame God? This book is making it abundantly clear that even in the midst of pain and sin, God is still God. And not only that, but God's glory shines through in the aftermath of even the worst sins. Piper, of course, puts it better than me:

"God did not just overcome evil at the cross. He made evil serve the overcoming of evil. He made evil commit suicide in doing its worst evil...the apex of evil achieved the apex of the glory of Christ. The glory of grace." (intro p. 12)

(see what I mean? Not weaksauce, people!)

"It seems to me that Christians in the West are being coddled. We suffer little in the name of Christ. Therefore, we read the Bible not with a desperate hunger for evidences of God's triumph in pain, but with a view to improving our private pleasures." (ouch) "People who don't like Christians are all around us. Only a strange providence keeps our chruches from being bombed. It is only a matter of time till the reality of the rest of the world comes home.... The coddled Western world will sooner or later give way to great affliction. And when it does, whose vision of God will hold? Where are Christians being prepared for great global sorrows?... Christians in the West are weakened by wimpy world views. And wimpy worldviews make wimpy Christians. God is weightless in our lives. He is not terrifyingly magnificent. His sovereignty is secondary (at best) to his sensitivity." (intro p. 13)

"My aim is to show that sin and evil, no matter how spectacular, never nullify the decisive, Christ-exalting purposes of God. No, my aim is more than that. These spectacular sins do not just fail to nullify God's purpose to glorify Christ, the succeed, by God's unfathomable providence, in making his gracious purpose come to pass." (intro p.17)

In the Desert Song, I love the part that says:

I will rejoice! I will declare: God is my victory and he is here!

That's my prayer for this week... blessings to all!

Psalm 143:8

• 8.
• Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

I am going to attempt to explain in this blog what has been confusing the doctor's since we began. Forgive me if I am too technical, all I am doing is copying information from other websites so that you may be informed. So here we go:

A few weeks ago the doctors took some amniotic fluid from Sheyenne's belly (that's real technical I know) so that they might run some tests in order to determine what is wrong with Whitney. They called us yesterday with the results. They determined that our baby has a genetic disorder called Triploidy. Here's the best way I can describe it... Genetic abnormalities such as Downs Syndrome or Trisomy 18 are conditions caused by an extra copy of one particular chromosome. Triploidy is an extra copy of ALL the chromosomes. Here's a more technical explaination:

"Triploidy is a rare lethal chromosome abnormality caused by the presence of an entire extra set of chromosomes. A fetus with triploidy has 69 chromosomes, rather than 46. The majority of fetuses with triploidy are spontaneously miscarried during pregnancy. Those that survive until birth will have severe growth retardation and multiple birth defects. This condition is incompatible with life."

"Triploidy is a devastating condition caused by having a full extra set of chromosomes. This extra set of chromosomes causes a variety of serious birth defects, placental problems, and severe growth problems in a fetus. In fact, most pregnancies in which the fetus has triploidy end in a spontaneous miscarriage. Very few infants with triploidy survive to term. Of those that do, most are stillborn and those that are born alive usually die shortly after birth. Infants with this lethal condition are generally small due to severe intrauterine growth retardation (IUGR) and they have multiple birth defects, including facial abnormalities, such as cleft lip, heart defects, neural tube defects (spina bifida), and other serious birth defects. The exact pattern of abnormalities depends on whether the extra set of chromosomes was inherited from the mother or from the father. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done to treat or cure triploidy."

It is said that Triploidy happens in only 1-2% of ALL conceptions, which makes me laugh because it feels like that makes sense for us. Another stat is 1 in 10,000 make it this far in the pregnancy because most babies die after only a month in the womb.

So where does this leave us now? That really is a great question because we don't really know that answer. As we have been, we will continue to wait and see what happens. We know that the doctors will not do anything "heroic" to save Whitney if she is born alive. I think I can speak for both me and Sheyenne that all we want is to hold our baby girl. So that continues to be our prayer to God, that he would allow us to hold this precious life that we have been so excited to see.

Last night I got to feel her move in Sheyenne's belly for the first time! It truly warmed my heart and now I know that my Christmas wish has come true. Thank you for continuing to read and we will continue to update this as God continues to teach us what we need to learn.

Psalm 63:3 (New International Version)

Psalm 138:8