Dancing With My Baby

Friday, December 18, 2009

Sean wrote this post on our other blog today and I thought I would share. Its so beautiful.

PS-(We started another blog specifically about Whitney. HERE'S THE LINK TO THAT. I generally post anything baby-related here first and then on the other one. But I wanted to keep this blog going, as opposed to just jumping ship. That's why you'll also see funny, everyday life things on here like, say... my husband's rap video. :-) So while this blog keeps up with all aspects of our life, the other one is mainly for updates on us and WHitney. mae sense? ok, good.)

Dancing With My Baby
This has been a rough week. Early this week I had my first dream about my baby. I wish that I could remember it clearly, but all I can tell you is she was beautiful and had gorgeous brown hair and rosie cheeks (like me) and a heart melting smile. How, you may be asking, did I know it was my baby girl? That is a good question and the only way I can answer is I woke up right after the dream and began praying for her again.

It has been about a month since we found out all the difficulties with our girl. The days have been different and difficult in their own ways. There have been many different things that have set off emotions that I cannot explain. Being at home with my family was great but difficult in its own ways. It was hard being with them having the thought lingering in the back of my mind that they will never get to meet the "new" addition to the family. It is hard living in the hope that everything can be alright but with the reality of what the doctors are always telling us.

We had another doctor appointment today with the same old results. NOTHING! Whitney's heart is still beating which is wonderful, but the doctor again has no news for us and we are still waiting on the results from the amino. This pregnancy has been nothing but waiting and waiting and waiting. I thank God for the Psalms which has ministered to my heart throughout this whole process. The many words of David crying out to the Father comfort me in letting my true emotions out as well, which if you know me is difficult because those true emotions come in the form of tears.

Tonight I got to watch my best friend dance with his baby girl. It was obviously bitter/sweet to me. My friend has been a huge support to me and a great role model in being a dad. What's funny is without him I would have been so incredibly scared about being a dad to a girl, but because of his great daddyness I knew I could do it. I loved watching him and his daughter dance, and I continue to pray to God that I might get the chance to dance too with my baby here in this world, but if not I know that my day will come in heaven where all imperfections are taken away. Whitney we all love you and continue to lift you up in prayer to the one who knits you in the womb.

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